Birth Mother Blog

5 Things Birth Mothers Want Missouri Adoptive Families to Know

Choosing to place her baby up for adoption is a very difficult decision for any pregnant woman to make, but it is also a selfless and courageous one. Not everyone is ready to start a family, and it can be difficult to admit that. However, if a pregnant woman knows that adoption is best for her and her baby, she is amazingly strong for making that choice. It shows that she deeply loves and cares for her child and that she is putting her baby’s needs above her own. If you are considering becoming an adoptive family in Missouri, you might be wondering what it is like for birth mothers in the adoption process. What thoughts and emotions are going through their head in this process? Is there anything I, the adoptive parent, should know about birth mothers? Adoption Choices of Missouri is here to tell you the 5 things Birth Mothers want Missouri Adoptive Families to Know.

  1. A Birth Mother Does not Choose Adoption Because her Child is Unwanted

A birth mother chooses adoption because she wants what is best for her child. She does not choose adoption because she doesn’t want her child. Choosing adoption is a very difficult decision for birth mothers, and a lot of thought and care goes into making this decision. A birth mother admits that she is not ready to care for a child at this time and instead chooses to go through all of the unknowns that come with pregnancy to give her child the best life she possibly can. As an adoptive family, let your adopted child know that their birth mother wanted them, but she valued a better life for her child more. 

  1. The Adoption Journey for a Birth Mother is Difficult

Although adoption agencies prepare birth mothers for their adoptive journey by helping them create an adoption plan, and although birth mothers may be confident in their decisions to choose adoption, it is not easy by any means. A birth mother will feel many emotions before, during, and after birth. She might face difficulties on the day of the adoption, but know that this does not mean that she is not confident in the life the adoptive family will provide for her child. It will take time for her to heal even after the placement has occurred.

  1. Support Her Choice. Do Not Judge Her Choice

A birth mother will have already faced a judgment for being pregnant with a child she is unable to care for at this time. She does not need more criticism from the people she is entrusting her child to. A birth mother chooses you to raise her child. Be grateful to her for giving you the gift of loving and raising a child. Going through the adoption process is challenging, and birth mothers will need your support.

  1. A Birth Mother Still Loves Her Child

A birth mother carries her child for nine months. She will develop a deep love for this child. She took the time to plan a bright future for her baby, so she will likely think of her child and how they are getting along in the future, she planned for him or her. She will most likely think of her child every day.

  1. She Trusts You, the Adoptive Family

As a birth mother, she spent so much time searching for the perfect family to raise her child. She probably spent hours looking through potential family profiles at her adoption agency. She was worried that she may never find anyone good enough for her child. But then she found you. She saw that you had all of the qualities and values that she wanted her child to grow up with. She saw you and knew that you would make sure that her child is loved. Do not worry that because you are not biologically related to your child, that you are any less of a parent. Because a birth mother chose you. She chose you because she could see that you were meant to be amazing parents to her child. She trusts you to raise her child with love.

What do Birth Mothers want Missouri Adoptive Families to Know?

Birth mothers want adoptive families to know that she still loves her child and that placing him or her up for adoption comes from a place of love. Her child was not unwanted. She just loved her child so much that she put their needs before her own. She chose you to give her child the best life imaginable. Birth mothers are so grateful to adoptive families, and adoptive families should be grateful to birth mothers, too.

Want to learn more about adoption as a birth mother or adoptive family? Adoption Choices of Missouri has you covered.

Adoption Choices of Missouri serves birth parents statewide and beyond, please call us or text us to learn more! Call us toll-free at 877-903-4488 or, in Missouri, call or text us at 1-816-527-9800

Meet the Author: Heather Frederick is in her fourth and final year at Siena College and lives in Delmar, New York. She is completing her BFA in English and has written several plays, The Vagabond, Paneless, and Yours, for the Oppressed. On most days, you can find her in the kitchen baking and singing to show tunes. 

As a member of the BTS Army, she likes to spend time listening to Kpop and learning dance choreography.