Birth Mother Blog

4 Reasons Birth Fathers May Feel Forgotten In Missouri Adoptions 

As a birth mother, your child’s birth father is such an important part of your child’s adoption story. Now, you as a birth mother may not feel the same way, as this could be due to you not being together with the birth father. However, as a birth mother, you should try to include your child’s birth father in these decisions regarding your birth child and your adoption process. As a birth, mother co-parenting can be a challenge but your child’s birth father should be considered in this adoption equation as he may feel left out if things have not always gone smoothly between you two. At our agency, Adoption Choices of Missouri, we have listed the top four reasons you may forget about your child’s birth father. Our local agency in Missouri will fully support and guide you to help you coexist peacefully with your child’s birth father. 

There may be negative misconceptions surrounding birth papas and the reasons they may be forgotten as this may be due to fear felt by birth mothers. So as a birth mother consider these reasons when considering your child’s birth father.

The Four Misconceptions about Birth Fathers 

1.The Birth Parents are Not Together 

As a birth father who might not be together with your child’s birth mother, know that just because you two do not together does not mean you matter any less. You, as birth parents, both matter. Your child’s birth mother may think of not being together as a reason to forget about you as a birth father. However, remember, as a birth father, you are an important member of your birth child’s life, and just because you guys are not together doesn’t mean you can’t work together to give your child a chance at a beautiful life.

2.The Birth Mother May Think She is All Alone

The birth mother of your child may feel like she is in this alone and has no support. However, this is quite the opposite, as a birth father might want to be involved in the adoption process for their child. As a birth father, your child’s birth mother may not consider this as she may be overwhelmed with this unplanned pregnancy. Showing her support by attending appointments, talking to her about her choice to choose adoption, and if she needs anything, will reassure her that you care and that she is not alone during your adoption journey.

3.The Birth Father Who is Far

As a birth father who may not live close to your child’s birth mother, she may think you don’t care about your birth child, hence her not reaching out to you, the birth father. Now, this reason is not always the case, as many birth fathers would probably love to be involved in their birth child’s life, despite not being in the same state as their child’s birth mother. As a birth mother, you should try to reach out to your child’s birth father; even if you think they may not talk to you, they may still want to support you and your child. As  your birth child gets older they want to get to know their birth father, so you as a birth mother may have to decide  

4.The Birth Father Who Who May Not be Emotionally Ready

Finding out you were going to be a father may have been scary, especially when you could not care for your child. Maybe the birth mother of your child feels like you are not emotionally ready to accept parenthood and the choice of adoption, so she decides to place your child for adoption and make all the decisions herself. Although this reason may seem unfair, some birth fathers may feel mature enough to go along with this decision. As a birth father, you will probably go through the same emotions of sadness, grief, acceptance that your child’s birth mother. Your child’s birth mother may have to understand that it may take you a while to be emotionally okay with this decision. You, as a birth father, are emotionally ready to decide and accept the choice of adoption.

Advice to Birth Fathers 

As a birth father, your child’s birth mother may have all kinds of reasons not to include you in your child’s adoption process, but these previously mentioned reasons should not discourage you in any way. At Adoption Choices of Missouri, we believe that birth parents are important pieces of your child’s adoption journey. As a birth father, you should have open communication with your child’s birth mother to let her know that you are a part of this adoption journey. She should know that everything does not fall on her as the birth mother because you guys can work together to be the best birth parents your birth child deserves.  As a birth mother who is considering adoption and may be dealing with this problem with your child’s birth father, we at Adoption Choices of Missouri will help you work together for a positive adoption 

Adoption Choices of Missouri serves birth parents statewide and beyond, please call us or text us to learn more! Call us toll free at 877-903-4488 or, in Missouri call or text us at 1-816-527-9800

Meet the Author: Samara Wiley is a published author of poetry, essays, and an environmental children’s storybook called, Waiting for the Water Fairy. She graduated from Benedictine University in 2018 with a double Bachelor of Arts in English Literature and French.She has been published in three small poetry anthologies one was called Talented.

Her other writing accomplishments include: winning a high school poetry competition and $2500 for her high school, having two out of her five novels be considered for publication and writing movie critic reviews for her university’s newsletter.

Although she has Cerebral Palsy and has had a turbulent childhood, Samara puts these small specs of herself into her writing to personally connect with her audience. She prides herself on pushing the boundaries in her writing and in her personal life with everything she does. Samara writes with her heart and a voice of compassion, and loves to pull from her top passions in life.

She currently lives in Yorkville, Illinois with her mom and two sisters.