Birth Mother Blog

Self-Care Tips During Pregnancy for an Adoption

Self-Care Tips During Pregnancy for an Adoption

By Ryan Yau

Facing an unplanned pregnancy can be overwhelming. If you’re still considering your options for the baby, there are many benefits to choosing adoption. If so, taking care of yourself during pregnancy is one of the most important things to do. Adoption Choices of Missouri can provide you with some self-care advice for your pregnancy.

Prioritizing Your Physical Health

Your physical health should be your top priority during pregnancy. This ensures your baby will be healthy, as well as brighten your mindset. While this seems obvious, you need to make sure your basic needs are fulfilled. Make sure to keep staying hydrated and eating enough nutrients in mind. You should avoid consuming things that may negatively impact your baby, such as alcohol or caffeine. Not only does keeping healthy benefit your baby, but you will also generally feel better in your day-to-day life.

Spending Time with Your Adoption Support and Loved Ones

Having a strong support system greatly benefits self-care. Especially during pregnancy, you’ll want to have people around that you can rely on. This includes people who can help you with physical tasks as well as people who make you feel more comfortable. You may want to find ways to spend quality time with your loved ones, such as going on walks.

Additionally, if you are still considering options for your baby, you can consult loved ones to help make a decision. Though we want the ultimate decision to be up to you, it can still help to consult other opinions.

Taking Time to Relax

Carrying a baby can be physically taxing, so it is good to spend time relaxing or doing nothing in particular. Don’t worry about not being super active during pregnancy. You should take time to engage in activities that bring you joy, but also make sure to get enough rest.

It’s best to avoid activities that take too much physical strain, even if you enjoy them otherwise. Less intense activities can be just as enjoyable and provide much-needed relaxation for your body. Some activities that allow you to relax include taking baths, listening to music, or reading. You can also stay active by going on walks or doing yoga. Furthermore, these activities have the added benefit of letting you be in the sun more, which can boost your mood.

Maintaining a Positive Attitude Throughout Your Adoption Journey

It’s also good to keep a positive outlook during pregnancy. Though pregnancy can certainly be difficult, focus on the positive aspects of carrying a child. For example, you get to experience the unique bond created between mother and child. If it helps, you can think about adoption and how you can give a couple the gift of a child. Despite the stigma that sometimes surrounds adoption, in this way, it is really a selfless act.

Of course, being optimistic about pregnancy is easier said than done. You may experience hormonal changes during pregnancy, which may alter your mood. Part of maintaining a positive attitude is understanding when it becomes too much and seeking necessary medical support. However, you should regardless try to think with a positive framework, as this helps your worldview.

Keeping Your mental Well-Being in Check With One of Our Adoption Counselors

Doing the above can help keep up your mental well-being, but sometimes pregnancy can simply be too much at once. Therefore, it’s good to make sure you have ways to find help if you can’t help yourself on your own. Having loved ones accessible makes for a strong support system, but you can find external support groups if necessary. Being able to talk to others who are going through or have gone through similar things can be very helpful.

Counseling can be another good option to help with your well-being. There’s nothing wrong with getting external help to support your self-care. Ultimately, this can be what’s best for you and your baby.

Create an Adoption Plan

While taking time off and relaxing is very important for a pregnancy, you should also consider planning for your adoption. Adoption Choices of Missouri can help you out, so you do not need to go through the adoption process alone. We will provide you with the services of an adoption specialist, who you can go to with any questions about the process. They can also help you create an adoption plan.

Your adoption plan includes the details of your adoption, including medical and financial needs, along with other services like counseling. You may also want to consider the different types of adoption or meeting parents who may want to adopt your child.

If you are a pregnant woman considering adoption for your baby, Adoption Choices of Missouri can help you get started on the process.

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Frequently asked questions about adoption

Frequently Asked Questions About Adoption

By Miranda Frank

Giving a child up for adoption involves a lot of decisions, which can be intimidating. In order to make all of these choices, you want to be fully informed, so you probably have questions. Here are a few frequently asked questions about adoption that birth mothers might have, along with some answers. If you have any more questions, we at Adoption Choices of Missouri are here to help. Adoption Choices of Missouri is a licensed adoption agency in Missouri that provides support to pregnant women dealing with unplanned pregnancy. If you are pregnant and considering adoption in Missouri, we want to make sure that you feel supported in your adoption journey. Adoption Choices can be a wonderful resource and source of information.

What Adoption Resources Are Available to Me?

Pregnancy and adoption can be a financial strain. Through Adoption Choices of Missouri, financial assistance is available. This assistance can include medical care, funds for safe housing, and free counseling or mental health care. This assistance can be provided during your pregnancy and through your recovery period.

How does the adoption process impact my rights as a birth mother?

Understanding your rights as a birth mother after adoption can seem complicated and confusing. It is important to understand how your rights might be affected as you make your decision. Throughout the adoption, you will be in control of the decision-making process. You will be able to determine how much contact you would like in the future. Depending on the level of contact, you will then be able to develop relationships with the child and family. To better understand your own situation and concerns about how your rights might be affected, you might need more specific advice or information. We encourage you to reach out to us and consult with an adoption professional.

What rights do birth fathers have in the adoption process?

Every birth parent’s situation is unique. You may be on good terms with the birth father and want them involved, or you might not. In Missouri, the birth father’s rights are dependent on the circumstance. There are some situations where the birth mother does not need the consent of the father. This includes if the father is unknown or out of the picture, for example. In other instances, when the birth father does need to consent, there is the possibility of dispute. If this is the case, you will want to contact an adoption professional about contested adoption.

What does making an adoption plan involve?

When you connect with your birth parent counselor, both of you will work on your adoption plan. This is a document that details your wants and needs for the adoption process. Your adoption plan could include preferences about the adoption family, the type of adoption, a birth plan for the hospital, and more. The plan will be laid out early on, but that does not mean that the first version is final. You might change your mind about some of your choices, and that is perfectly alright. As these changes come up, you can communicate with your counselor to adjust the adoption plan however necessary.

Will I have a say in who the adoptive parents will be?

Yes, adoptive parent profiles will be available for review, with information about the parents and families. There is also the opportunity to get in contact with prospective parents and see if it seems like a good fit. Make your wishes and desires for what the adoptive family will look like known to your birth parent counselor. Those preferences can be noted in your adoption plan and taken into account in the pairing process.

Can I have contact with my child after the adoption is finalized?

You do have the option of keeping in contact with the adoptive family and child after the adoption is finalized. One of the decisions you will make will be the type of contact between you and the family. This contact will be determined by the type of adoption you choose, each of which has a different degree of communication. The relationship with the child and the adoptive parents might be a priority for you. If this is true, consider what type of adoption might be the best fit.

What types of adoption are available?

There are three options, which include open, semi-open, and closed adoption. The benefits of open adoption include the opportunity for you to maintain a high level of communication with the adopting parents and developing a relationship with your child. The other alternatives involve less or no communication with the adoptive family. Each of these options involves different levels of communication and involvement between a birth parent and the parents raising their child.

How do I navigate the legal process of adoption, including paperwork and consent requirements?

Your birth parent counselor will be your guide through most of the adoption process. After deciding you wish to adopt, you will be paired with a counselor to assist in making your plans and decisions. Adoption can be a complicated process, and your counselor will be with you along the way to help simplify the journey. 

How can I handle the grief and emotions that may arise after placing my child for adoption?

One resource available to birth mothers through Adoption Choices of Missouri is counseling and mental health care. Pregnancy and adoption can be challenging emotionally, and seeking additional support can be quite helpful in difficult circumstances. 

How do I handle questions or conversations about adoption with my friends, family, and others?

If you are considering adoption for your baby, you may be facing some worry about how to discuss that decision with others. Putting a child up for adoption can draw a lot of questions and even judgment or criticism from people around you. Focus on your own decisions and motivations when you have these conversations. If you feel secure in the decisions you are making, these interactions will feel more comfortable. 

Navigating the world of adoption can be overwhelming, and it’s natural to have questions along the way. Here we’ve addressed several frequently asked questions that birth mothers commonly have about adoption. We hope that by providing answers and guidance, we can support you in making informed decisions for yourself. If you have any additional questions or concerns, don’t hesitate to reach out to Adoption Choices of Missouri. We are here to provide the guidance, support, and information you need to feel confident and empowered throughout your adoption journey. You are not alone, and we are proud to be part of your adoption process.

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Fears Birth Mothers Have Through the Adoption Process

Fears Birth Mothers Have Through the Adoption Process

By Miranda Frank

Choosing adoption can be difficult, and it’s completely normal for birth mothers to have fears and worries along the way. If you are starting your adoption journey, you might not know what to expect, and that uncertainty can create very real fear. Even considering adoption for your baby can be intimidating. Adoption Choices of Missouri is here to provide some insights, support, and reassurance. Your fears and concerns are valid, and we understand that putting a child up for adoption involves very complicated decisions. Our team is committed to supporting birth mothers through adoption, providing whatever support and resources you need.

I am afraid of loneliness and judgment

One common fear among birth mothers is that they will be judged by others for their decision to place their child for adoption. You may fear facing criticism or being labeled as “unfit” or “selfish” by those who don’t fully understand your circumstances. Some people still believe that putting a child up for adoption is something to be ashamed of, but that is completely untrue. If this is a concern of yours, it is important to focus on your own motivations and desires. Take the time to understand your decision and feel comfortable with it. This will allow you to separate that choice from those outside voices. 

If you are looking for outside support, Adoption Choices of Missouri can help as well. Members of our team will be there for you throughout your adoption journey to listen and support you. You will be paired with a birth parent counselor who will be there with you through the process. The adoption process can feel like an isolating experience, but you can always find a listening ear with us. 

I am afraid of the financial burden of pregnancy and adoption

All the costs of pregnancy, medical care, transportation, and even housing might seem overwhelming. Adoption Choices of Missouri offers financial support for some pregnancy-related expenses based on your needs. This is another aspect of adoption you will discuss with your adoption counselor. Consider your needs during this time, and maintain clear communication with your counselor to see how you can be supported. 

I am afraid of regretting my decision

Birth mothers may experience fear of regretting their decision to place their child for adoption in the future. They may worry about the emotional impact it may have on them and the grief and loss associated with adoption. It is important that you take time to heal and rest after birth and the adoption. Acknowledge the stress of the process, and own what has been difficult. By accepting and acknowledging any pain or emotional difficulty, you can move through whatever grieving process you need to heal. If you give your decision careful thought and own the loss you experience, you can feel more assurance in your choice. Regret is natural, but if you are confident in your decision, it may only be temporary.

I am afraid of having no control over the adoption process

There may be a fear of losing control over the child’s life and well-being. You may worry about whether the adoptive family will provide the love, care, and opportunities you desire for your child. There may even be fear that you will no longer have a say in your child’s upbringing and future. When you decide to place your baby for adoption, your adoption plan becomes the guideline for that process. When developing this plan, make sure you communicate these fears and what you want for your child. Your desires will be carefully taken into account in this plan.

This will become a guide for the type of home your child will have. You will also have the opportunity to learn more about prospective adoptive parents to ensure that they meet your criteria. Adoption Choices of Missouri can work with you to make sure that your child will be raised in a home you approve of. While giving a child up for adoption might feel like losing some control, know that your desires will be respected.   

If you are considering adoption in Missouri, Adoption Choices of Missouri has been providing support to pregnant women in Missouri for many years. Reach out to us by call, text, or through our site, and tell us all about your concerns. No matter what your situation is, we are here to understand and to help.


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Addressing Fears About Open Adoption

Addressing Fears About Open Adoption

By Lily Spertus

If you are a pregnant woman considering adoption for your baby, you may be curious about open adoption. Open adoption is an increasingly popular choice for birth mothers considering adoption in Missouri. In an open adoption, birth mothers and adoptive parents create a relationship with one another and maintain ongoing communication. Within open adoption, levels of contact and involvement of the birth mother with the adoptive family can vary. As with all forms of adoption, the decision to have an open adoption is difficult. It is important to understand that birth mothers considering an open adoption might have fears or concerns. Adoption agencies in Missouri can support you through this decision and your adoption journey. In this article, we will address some common fears around open adoption in Missouri

“My child will hate me and won’t want to meet me.”

It is understandable to worry about how your child will feel about you in an open adoption. However, it is important to note that having an open adoption can help create a healthy, supportive relationship between you as a birth mother and your child. As your child gets older, they will be able to understand your love and sacrifice that enabled them to grow up in a stable environment. Communication between you and your child after open adoption also adds to their sense of identity and means that you can be there to answer questions they might have. Lastly, if your baby begins their life with their adoptive parents and birth parents maintaining a relationship, this will be the only family dynamic they know. If you are involved from the beginning, it is unlikely they will feel hatred towards you.

“My role in my child’s life will be replaced by their adoptive parents.”

In an open adoption, you will play an irreplaceable role in your child’s life as their birth mother—no one can replace that. Adoptive parents can provide a loving and supportive home for your child to thrive in. Despite this, only you can give your child the unique sense of identity that comes with being close to one’s origins. Adoptive parents agreeing to an open adoption will understand the value your perspective brings to the development of the child, and they will involve you as much as you would like. Open adoption is essentially a collaboration—birth mothers and adoptive parents will work together to best meet their child’s needs. 

“I will not have a say in the life of my child.”

Open adoption is a great option if you are looking to maintain some level of involvement with your child. During the adoption process in Missouri, you and the adoptive parents will work to create an agreed-upon plan that establishes your involvement in your child’s life. This could include having input on some decisions regarding your child’s upbringing. Additionally, if you are giving a child up for adoption, you will work with adoption agencies to select adoptive parents that match your values. The level of involvement you have with your child post-adoption will be tailored to your unique circumstances and comfort levels. You deserve to feel respected during the adoption process and within your child’s adoptive family. 

“I will feel constant guilt and regret if I maintain involvement with my child.”

Adoption is a hard decision for anyone, and it is natural for you to feel a wide array of emotions. For some, open adoption can actually help make you feel more comfortable and even lessen feelings of guilt or regret. Keeping in contact with your child means that you will get to see them thrive as they grow up. You will see their happiness and their support in their adoptive family and feel as though you can be a positive influence in their life. This can give you peace of mind and satisfaction with your choice of adoption. By choosing open adoption, you should be proud of your selflessness and investment in your child’s future. 

“I won’t be able to move forward and find a path to healing.”

Choosing adoption is deeply personal. It is completely understandable that post-adoption, you will want to move forward with your own life and heal. Open adoption can allow for a sense of closure as you will be able to see how your child flourishes in their healthy environment. Adoption Choices of Missouri can help you on your journey to healing during and after the adoption by providing counseling or helping you find a support group. You deserve to feel good about your decision and achieve your own personal goals in life. Open adoption can be a stepping stone in finding your way.

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What Happens at the Hospital if I’m Giving My Baby Up for Adoption?

What Happens at the Hospital if I’m Giving My Baby Up for Adoption?

By Miranda Frank

If you’re facing the complicated decision of giving a child up for adoption, understanding what to expect during your time at the hospital is crucial. What happens before, during, and after delivery might seem like a mystery. The hospital experience can be overwhelming, so learning about the process is one way to feel more grounded and secure during this time. We aim to provide you with valuable insights and information to help you navigate this sensitive period with confidence and peace of mind. So, let’s delve into the details and explore the hospital arrangements and support available to you as you embark on your adoption journey. 

If you are considering adoption in MissouriAdoption Choices of Missouri is an agency that will provide assistance to you every step of the way. We are always here to answer questions and consult with you about your personal adoption process. We believe that you should be empowered to make whatever decisions you feel are best, and our agency aims to support you in that. 

How will I Prepare for My Delivery at the Hospital?

Before you go into labor or visit the hospital, you will consult with the adoption agency to develop a birth plan. This can also be called a hospital plan and is an important step. This will be part of the process whether you are consulting with Adoption Choices of Missouri or another adoption agency in Missouri. You will develop this plan to lay out how you want the hospital visit and delivery to proceed. There are a number of decisions to make about that window of time that you will consult with the agency about. The birth plan can act as a set of guidelines for you, the agency, the hospital staff, and the adoptive family. 

What is included in the Hospital Adoption Plan?

The hospital plan contains whatever you want to prioritize, but here are a few examples of possible decisions to consider:

  • Who will be in the delivery room? You can decide if you would prefer to be alone or if you would like to include others there. This might include the birth father, the adoptive family, or anyone else you might want to support you through delivery. If you wish to have the adoptive family there but not in the room, the hospital might provide another space for them to stay during the birth.
  • Who will cut the cord? Some people consider the cutting of the umbilical cord to be an important moment. You might want to do it yourself or give that responsibility to an adoptive parent.
  • Where should the baby stay after birth? After giving birth, you may want to keep the baby nearby, or you might choose to have the baby stay with the adoptive family. You can also choose who you want to be the first to hold the baby and if you wish to breastfeed or not.
  • How should the baby be named? Consider if you want to name the baby yourself, leave that decision to the adoptive family, or work together to choose a name.

In an Adoption, What Happens Before and During Delivery?

Before delivery, you will want to review your birth plan to make sure you are still confident in your decisions. If you are working with Adoption Choices of Missouri, we will continue to check in with you up until delivery to answer any questions or provide support. If you need to make any changes to your hospital plan, let your adoption specialist know, and it will be revised. There will also be paperwork to fill out and sign after the birth, so make sure you have all the information you need and are aware of what those documents entail.

What Happens in an Adoption Post-Delivery

After delivering a baby, a hospital will typically keep you for at least 48 hours. This is true if you underwent surgery such as a C-section or if it was a vaginal birth. You may also request to leave before that rest period is over if that is what you want. Based on what decisions you have already made in your adoption plan, you may have no further contact with the child and adoptive family. If you have chosen to pursue an open adoption in Missouri, you will continue to keep in touch with the family and build those relationships. 

Pregnancy is a personal experience and can be a complicated journey. We want to help make that process as stress-free and comfortable as possible. If you have questions about any specifics of adoption and are considering adoption for your baby, contact Adoption Choices of Missouri. To get in touch with us, you can contact us through our site or via call or text.

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Benefits of Entering into A Single Man Adoption in Missouri

Benefits of Entering into A Single Man Adoption in Missouri

By Alexandra Butcher

Choosing the right family for your baby after an unplanned pregnancy can be a difficult choice for birth parents. You want to make sure you place your child in a loving home, but the adoption process feels daunting and overwhelming. One of the many options for your child is a single-parent adoption, and it may even be one of the better choices depending on your circumstances. Single-parent adoptions are much less common than adoption by a married couple and undergo a much more rigorous evaluation process. They are often much more scrutinized and hold a lot of negative stigma, especially for single men who are wanting to adopt. Despite this stigma, Adoption Choices of Missouri is here to support you through this process and encourage your decision to enter into a single-man adoption.

  • Emotional Stability

You can rest safely each night knowing that your child has a father that loves them unconditionally and they won’t be affected by marital issues or instability. In the past years, divorce rates have been rising and trauma can often stem from conflict within the household, mainly between spouses. If you are giving a child up for adoption and want to prioritize their mental health and psychological well being, this is a great route to choose. Growing up in a single parent household will ensure that they don’t suffer the consequences of a messy divorce or break-up.

  • Dedication

Choosing to adopt a child as a single man is no small feat, so you can rest assured that your child’s future adoptive father is a dedicated man who has thought long and hard about the process and is more than willing to provide for your child in whatever means necessary. Not only that, but this adoptive single father has undergone a rigorous process to be eligible to adopt your baby (check out our home study checklist to get details about the diligence and attentiveness of our home studies and the adoption process in general). Just like you, they thought tirelessly about their plans for adoption and know what they are getting themselves into.

  • No Distractions

Your child won’t unconsciously be fighting a battle for attention between themselves and a spouse. The single father will be the primary caregiver and will give their undivided attention to their child. Your baby will grow up as the primary focus of the single man’s life with no distractions. This prospective father has chosen to go into this and acknowledges all the responsibility they must handle, so you can be at peace knowing that this child is going to get unconditional love from their single father!

  • Financial Stability

Money is often the root of many issues in life simply because it is a necessity. Entering into the adoption process is not cheap and requires financial stability. Generally, adoption is an expensive route and is a huge financial decision for future adoptive parents, which is why having a single man with a stable career adopt your baby is an amazing option. They have already established themselves as financially ready for this life-changing decision and have undergone all necessary background and financial checks to ensure that they will provide for this child’s life. 

  • No Conflicting Parenting Styles

Given that the adoptive father will be the only parent, there is no need to worry about conflicting parenting styles or rules. Your child will grow up in a safe environment with uniform rules. There will be less chance of confusion and the child won’t feel emotional trauma from having to pick a side in parenting debates. The household rules, regulations, curfews, etc will all be managed by one parent, leaving no room for conflict between parents over what the other should be doing. In turn, this creates a peaceful environment for your child to grow, learn, and succeed in life.

Why Should You Choose a Single Man to Adopt Your Baby

If you are considering adoption for your baby, don’t be dissuaded from choosing a single man. In fact, this might be one of the best decisions for your child! If you place your child in a single man adoption, you’re paving the way for a future of emotional and financial stability, less spousal conflict, and a dedicated and endless love and support system for your child. Don’t let the stigma surrounding single parent adoption hold you back. Through an adoption agency like Adoption Choices of Missouri, you can ensure that your child ends up in a safe and nurturing home. Don’t hesitate to reach out if you have any concerns or want to find more information about single man adoptions.