4 Ways to Celebrate Black History Month with Your Birth Child

February 26, 2021 Adoption Choices of Missouri

4 Ways to Celebrate Black History Month with Your Birth Child

Black History Month is an important holiday that celebrates African Americans’ importance and their influences in the world during February. As you go through your adoption process, your birth child may ask questions on why this is such an important holiday to celebrate. They may be curious about people who may look like them, or what this holiday means to them as an adoptee in a transracial family.

Transracial adoption is when a child from a different race is placed with adoptive parents from another race. Also known as interracial adoption, transracial adoption is becoming more common, and both birth and adoptive families are choosing open adoption as a way to let the child form a connection with their birth parents.

Teaching your black child about this holiday will help them feel more connected to others who look like them, and learn about the world, its differences, and its people. At Adoption Choices of Missouri, we have chosen the four ways you can celebrate Black History Month with your birth child.

1. Read Books about Diversity during Black History Month

Reading books about diversity and Black History Month is a meaningful way to teach your child about other races, ethnicities, and cultures around the world. To help them learn about people who may look different from them. Embracing diversity is vital for your child as he or she grows and forms relationships with various people throughout their life. Helping your child expand their worldview will help them be a more open-minded individual.

Through reading books about diversity, your child can enjoy fun traditions outside of their own culture, while learning to embrace others’ differences in a positive way.

2. Teach Your Child about Black History Month

Black History Month is such an important day to celebrate with your birth child. As they grow older, they will have many experiences that may define them. Teaching him or her about Black History Month can be through any media platform, like music or TV shows, or going to special community events and doing kid-related activities, like helping your child draw their adoptive family and birth family.

Talking to your child about how people like them have helped the world by becoming doctors or teachers will help them know that they can do anything they put their minds to and learn to be proud of their origins.

3. Show Your Child Movies about Black History Month

Watching age-appropriate movies, like Walt Disney’s Princess and the Frog or Marvel’s The Black Panther, can help your child learn and appreciate other races, ethnicities, and cultures around the world. Additionally, if you and your child are of a different culture or your child is being raised by a transracial adoptive family, seeing characters who look like them on screen can help them understand where they come from and why it is important to celebrate people like them. It can also help them feel more comfortable with being who they are and embracing their identity as an African American adoptee.

The above-mentioned movies can also teach your child about the values of hard work, perseverance, and the importance of family.

4. Visit Black History Month Events during Black History Month

Visiting Black History Month events, like museum tours and parades, can be a great way to learn about Black History Month. Having your child try and eat African American food at a festival or during a community event is an excellent way for them to experience another culture. By visiting a museum, your birth child can get to know all about the history of their birth family or their adoptive family. This can help them create a healthy and strong sense of identity.

Advice to Birth Mothers during Black History Month

Being a birth mother and explaining to a child what these holidays mean embodies you as a mother and an African American woman. This holiday will teach your child about accepting others who may be of a different race or culture from them. The influence that comes from African American history and its culture will shape your birth child as they grow and help define them later on in their way with how they see the world.

Adoption Choices of Missouri serves birth parents statewide and beyond, please call us or text us to learn more! Call us toll free at 877-903-4488 or, in Missouri call or text us at 1-816-527-9800

Meet the Author: Samara Wiley is a published author of poetry, essays, and an environmental children’s storybook called, Waiting for the Water Fairy. She graduated from Benedictine University in 2018 with a double Bachelor of Arts in English Literature and French.She has been published in three small poetry anthologies one was called Talented.

Her other writing accomplishments include: winning a high school poetry competition and $2500 for her high school, having two out of her five novels be considered for publication and writing movie critic reviews for her university’s newsletter.

Although she has Cerebral Palsy and has had a turbulent childhood, Samara puts these small specs of herself into her writing to personally connect with her audience. She prides herself on pushing the boundaries in her writing and in her personal life with everything she does. Samara writes with her heart and a voice of compassion, and loves to pull from her top passions in life.

She currently lives in Yorkville, Illinois with her mom and two sisters.

Positive Adoption Language Do’s and Don’ts

February 25, 2021 Adoption Choices of Missouri

Positive Adoption Language Do’s and Don’ts

Just like most things in our world, language evolves over time. Phrases and terms that might have been acceptable when we were growing up may no longer be considered appropriate.

At Adoption Choices of Missouri, we view each birth mother’s adoption journey as unique and special. We want to make sure that we are using positive adoption language to reflect these positive journeys! If you’re not sure what language to use, that’s fine! We are here to answer any questions you may have.

Do Use the Terms Birth Parent or Birth Mother

If you are referring to the biological parent of an adoptee, feel free to use the terms birth parents or birth mother. These terms are free of underlying judgements or negative connotations. They simply describe the biological parent as they are—a birth parent.

Stay away from phrases like real parents. These kinds of phrases imply that adoptive parents are somehow less “real” or important than biological parents. Adoptive families’ love and support for their children is no less than that of a family who has not been through the adoption process. In love, as well as in legal-terms, an adoptive family’s child is equal to any child.

Do Use the Phrase Placed for Adoption

Using the phrase placed for adoption implies that an adoptive family was purposefully selected for an adopted child…which is true! Each birth mother’s adoption journey is a choice that she makes, and part of that journey is selecting an adoptive family to place her child with. There is so much intention and thought that goes into matching a child with his or her adoptive family.

A phrase that is still common to hear is giving up a baby for adoption. Do not use this term. “Giving up” something often implies that there is no other choice, or is otherwise associated with loss. Birth mothers choose to place their children for adoption based on any number of factors, all of which differ between cases.

Do Say Made an Adoption Plan

An adoption plan is a carefully thought-through plan that a birth mother comes up with alongside her adoption caseworker. This plan details many aspects of the adoption journey in order to eliminate any surprises and create safety and comfort for the birth mother. When describing the transition of a child into their adoptive family, feel free to use this phrasing.

Try to stay away from words like relinquished or phrases like gave up when referring to the transition of a child into their new adoptive family. Again, these phrases imply that a child is more similar to an object rather than a person. They also imply that the birth mother is doing something negative, as opposed to making the choice that is best for her and her baby.

Why Positive Adoption Language Matters

Why is it so important to use positive language when discussing adoption? The ways in which we speak about a topic reflect our own thoughts or innate beliefs about it. Because adoption is a positive event in so many people’s lives, we want to be intentional with the way we speak about it. Using negative phrases or words can convey to someone that you look down on them for being adopted or for choosing adoption. Making these small changes in the way we speak can create a more welcoming world!

If you are ever unsure if a phrase is a positive or negative one, just ask! There is nothing wrong with being unsure. Our staff at Adoption Choices of Missouri is happy to answer all your questions. There are also lots of resources online that can help, too! Remember, our goal is to be welcoming and inclusive of all different types of families. Being intentional with your word choices brings us one step closer towards this goal.

Adoption Choices of Missouri serves birth parents statewide and beyond, please call us or text us to learn more! Call us toll free at 877-903-4488 or, in Missouri call or text us at 1-816-527-9800

Meet the Author: Molly Doyle is a native San Franciscan, Molly is an experienced educator and a dedicated writer. She holds her multiple subject teaching credential as well as her Masters of Arts in Teaching. When not teaching children or creating new written pieces, Molly can be found kicking around a soccer ball, going for urban hikes or whipping up a fruit pie.

She currently lives in Seattle, her first home outside of California.

Birth Mother Blog

Adoption and Grandparents in Missouri: 4 Helpful Tips

February 24, 2021 Adoption Choices of Missouri

Adoption and Grandparents in Missouri: 4 Helpful Tips

Do you have a daughter who has made the choice to place her baby for adoption? If so, you might have some questions or concerns. It is completely natural to want the best for your daughter. The good news is that Adoption Choices of Missouri is here to help. Here are some useful tips on adoption and grandparents as you follow your daughter on her adoption journey.

Be Supportive in the Adoption Process

Your daughter is going through an emotional journey. She has chosen to place her baby for adoption and with that comes a whole set of new experiences and feelings. One of the best things that you can do to help is to be as supportive as you can. If possible, offer to accompany or drive her to doctor’s appointments and check-ups. Listen to her if she needs to talk through anything. Practice being non-judgemental and open-minded. Remember, this is likely a new experience for everyone and you will all do a lot of learning along the way.

Educate Yourself about Adoption

Education can often alleviate any fears we hold towards something new. There are so many resources available for you to learn more about the adoption process. Our staff at Adoption Choices of Missouri is happy to help answer any specific questions that you may have. Try checking our birth mother blog posts or website for information. You can also try googling adoption and you’ll find a multitude of informative websites and organizations.

Keep in mind that you are educating yourself to better understand what your daughter may be going through as a birth mother. It is important not to use your new information as a way to influence her choices or decisions. She is in control of her own adoption journey and while she may turn to you for advice, avoid offering unsolicited opinions or negative thoughts. Remember, she chose adoption because it was the right path for her and respecting her decision is very important.

Find Adoption Support Groups or Counseling for Yourself

If you find yourself worrying constantly about each step in your daughter’s adoption journey, it might be helpful to find counseling services. Speaking to a professional about your worries can help you work through your feelings. This is a big part of your daughter’s life, and therefore is also a big part of yours, and it is okay to experience a range of emotions. Taking care of yourself will help you be supportive and emotionally available for your daughter.

Counseling services may also be beneficial if you are struggling with feelings of grief or confusion post-adoption. Depending on the type of adoption your daughter chooses, you may or may not have a relationship with your grandchild as they grow up. Talking to someone about these emotions can be a helpful way to handle and understand them.

Make Plans as a Birth Grandparent

If your daughter has chosen an open adoption, you might have a relationship with your grandchild post-adoption. Communicate with your daughter around the type of involvement that you will be able to have in your grandchild’s life. From there, you can plan for any future communication or visits with your birth grandchild.

You might plan what you’d like to share with them in a letter or choose some special family photographs to send them. Maybe you’d like to receive pictures and updates of your grandchild as they grow up. There are many different ways that a post-adoption relationship might look for birth grandparents, but you must always honor the agreements that your daughter develops with her child’s adoptive family.

Adoption and Grandparents

The important things to remember about adoption and grandparents are to be open, supportive and kind. Remember that it is okay to experience intense emotions as a birth grandparent. Take time to care for yourself, so that you are able to be a supportive part of your daughter’s adoption journey.

Throughout it all, keep in mind that at Adoption Choices of Missouri your daughter’s safety and comfort are our top priorities. We understand the unique and emotional nature of each birth mother’s adoption journey and we will make sure that your daughter is well supported.

Adoption Choices of Missouri serves birth parents statewide and beyond, please call us or text us to learn more! Call us toll free at 877-903-4488 or, in Missouri call or text us at 1-816-527-9800

She currently lives in Seattle, her first home outside of California.

Birth Mother Blog

Are You Pregnant and Choosing Adoption? Here is Help for Birth Mothers in Missouri Making an Adoption Plan

February 23, 2021 Adoption Choices of Missouri

Are You Pregnant and Choosing Adoption? Here is Help for Birth Mothers in Missouri Making an Adoption Plan

If you’re here reading this, then hopefully you’ve already reviewed and carefully considered your three main pregnancy options (parenting, abortion, and adoption) and you’ve chosen adoption. Congratulations on making this loving and selfless decision! This means you are officially ready to level up from being a pregnant woman to a birth mother.

But where do you go from here? What exactly does the adoption process entail? It is time for you to pick an adoption agency and begin working with your adoption specialist to make your adoption plan together. That is exactly why Adoption Choices of Missouri is here to help you every step of the way through the adoption process.

The 7 Main Ways We Provide Assistance and Help for Birth Mothers in Missouri Making an Adoption Plan:

Initial Assessment. After you contact us, we will schedule a meeting with you as soon as possible to begin making your adoption plan. If you do not have transportation, your adoption caseworker will come to you. That is when we will begin our initial assessment so that we can get started on filing whatever paperwork is necessary to provide you with the types of financial assistance that may be available to you. Financial assistance includes, but is not limited to: safe housing, utilities, groceries, transport, medical assistance, and legal representation.
Find a Doctor. After your paperwork is all done, we will then help you find a doctor within your provided coverage. It is important that you find a doctor you feel safe and comfortable with, since the two of you will have a long journey ahead together. After all, your doctor and his or her staff will be the ones performing all of your tests, ultrasounds, and delivering your baby. You should have a team of trusted professionals by your side.
Review Adoptive Family Profiles. You will receive a list of prospective adoptive families to choose from who meet your criteria. You can choose what type of adoption you’d like, whether you want an open, closed, or semi-open adoption. This determines your level of involvement in your baby’s life post-placement as he or she grows up. Just because you choose adoption does not mean you have to miss out on knowing the person your baby grows up to be. Open adoption is currently the most popular type of adoption in the US, because it lets you stay in touch and maintain contact with the adoptive family and your baby. We strongly encourage open adoption because we believe it is the option that is the most beneficial and positive for everyone.
Meet the Adoptive Family. If you would like, you can meet the adoptive family you have chosen. This is to help ensure that they meet all of your criteria and that you are confident in your decision. Now, congratulations on picking out your baby’s adoptive family! We are a full-service, licensed agency, so all of our adoptive families are pre-approved and qualified to adopt. This means that you will pick a great home for your baby no matter what. Whether you chose a single individual, a couple, a transracial family, or an LGBTQ+ family, your baby will be entering into a nurturing and loving home. We guarantee that your baby will be placed into a capable and suitable environment to provide him or her with the best opportunities in life.
Follow-Up Appointments. Now that you got to meet the adoptive family you picked out, don’t forget to stay in touch with your adoption specialist throughout the rest of your pregnancy and adoption journey. It is also very important that you do not miss any of your doctor’s appointments leading up to your due date. If getting around is an issue, we will provide any necessary transportation to help you make sure that you do not miss any of these important dates.
Your Due Date. Finally! The big day is here! By the time it is your due date, you and your adoption caseworker will have already worked out a birth plan together with your doctor and the adoptive family you’ve chosen. Usually this covers decisions like whether or not you want the adoptive family present for the birth or whether you want to hold the baby after. Please be aware that there may be certain hospital restrictions and guidelines in place regarding visitors and such due to COVID-19. Your adoption caseworker will be able to go over all of those guidelines and procedures with you in more detail when you make your birth plan together.
Post-Placement. After you are all done with your labor and delivery, it is time for you to get used to your new life after adoption. Your baby will be placed with his or her adoptive family, but that does not mean you have to deal with adjusting to your new post-placement life alone. We offer support counseling to help you while you deal with any grief or loneliness you may experience post-placement. We understand that this is a long and emotional journey, and it does not simply end once you have given birth. That is why we offer emotional and support counseling to help you navigate any grief you may experience during this time of emotional turmoil.

Don’t Wait to Ask for Help for Birth Mothers in Missouri Making an Adoption Plan

The longer you wait, the longer before we can get to work helping you. Birth mothers are our highest priority, and you should be treated as such. We are here and happy to help with any financial and medical assistance you may need. But not having to stress about the bills is only one aspect of the services we provide. That is exactly why Adoption Choices of Missouri is here for you: to not only help guide you through the entire adoption process and coordinate your adoption plan, but to also go the extra mile to provide emotional and support counseling afterwards.

Adoption Choices of Missouri serves birth parents statewide and beyond, please call us or text us to learn more! Call us toll free at 877-903-4488 or, in Missouri call or text us at 1-816-527-9800

Meet the Author: Kelly Felix is a graduate from the University of New Orleans. She holds a BA in English as well as a BA in Sociology. Her English concentration is in journalism, and her specialties in sociology are gender studies and environmental sociology.

When she isn’t voraciously guzzling coffee or devouring books, Kelly can be found either bent over a canvas working on her art or at her computer playing video games. She has hands-on classroom teaching experience from her time working as a substitute teacher for Kelly Services. Kelly also completed an in-house editorial internship at Pelican Publishing Company, and she finished the goal internship program at Green Light New Orleans. Kelly generally exists in a state of suspended disbelief, but when she’s not there she resides in New Orleans.

Birth Mother Blog

Important Facts to Know When You’re Considering Transracial Adoption for You and Your Baby in Missouri

February 22, 2021 Adoption Choices of Missouri

Important Facts to Know When You’re Considering Transracial Adoption for You and Your Baby in Missouri

One of the many foundations and values America prides itself on is diversity. The heritage the land is built on spans all across the continent and crosses the ocean into worlds we have yet to see.

Historically, transracial adoption was extremely rare and seen as a risky thing to do. The community, along with the rest of the world, has progressed greatly from those times and remembered the core value of adoption: family.

Love and family transcends all barriers of race and should not be a hindrance in the adoption process.

Adoption Choices of Missouri welcomes birth mothers and families of all colors and backgrounds. If you are currently considering transracial adoption, we’re going to share some insight on what exactly transracial adoption is and hopefully provide some words of encouragement.

A Piece of History regarding Transracial Adoption

Firstly, let’s give it a definition: transracial adoption is the placement of a baby or child within a family of a different race/culture.

Take a moment to look with me back to the 1950s, the midst of the baby boomer era. Recall the old cartoons, emergence of the vintage fashion we celebrate today. Transracial adoption was virtually an unheard of thing and especially uncommon to see amongst the adoption community.

Around those times and progressing into the ‘60s, marking the civil rights movement, did transracial adoption really gain some traction.

Prior to the ‘60s, during the World War era, it was standard protocol to “race match” or simply place the child within an adoptive family of their same race. In the following decade, the number of transracial adoptions only peaked around 12,000. The shift was caused by several coalitions of both legal and community members who saw that children in need of families should not miss the opportunity of a better home simply because they were not “race matched.” It was identified that this disproportionately affected black children/children of color in particular. The number of transracial adoptions has increased by more than 50% in today’s time.

Transracial families and children of color being adopted outside their race is higher like never before.

Why is There a Stigma against Transracial Adoption?

The conflicts between race and oppression have a lifespan of several centuries, even after the apparent resistance and movements made to combat racism, there is still much work done to eradicate it.

Much of the stigma stems from knowing that having a transracial adoptive family comes with its unique set of challenges. For some, those challenges are too big to properly address or they do not have the necessary tools to handle it correctly. There are many out there who would object to placing a child into the care of a family that is of a different race or cultural background. The arguments for this mostly range that it is unfair and morally wrong to do such a thing because the child misses out on culture-distinguishing moments that they would normally find within their own racial communities.

The opponents of transracial adoption believe there are needs and race-specific care taking that only members of the same ethnic or culturally-matched group members can provide. To take those things away is to take away the tools needed to develop their identity.

Another issue also comes from potential criticism that a transracial family may face not only from members of their own racial community, but those outside of it as well. It can be awkward and, at the worst, dangerous for transracial adoptive families to be seen with a child of a different race because of perplexing or dirty looks they may encounter.

Even to this day, there are still debates and battles over it. There are those who feel strongly that it is detrimental to a child’s upbringing to be “race-matched” because it helps with their identity and it is simply the right thing to do. On the other side, it is believed that those tools are not forgotten and can still be passed along even if the race of the child is different from that of the parents.

Race is Not a Barrier, But a Bridge with Transracial Adoption

The truth of the matter is this, love for a child goes beyond skin color and heritage. It breaks down every man made wall that was put there and overcomes all forms of hatred or stigmatization placed on it.

When a birth mother chooses to place her baby for adoption, she does because it’s within the best interest of not only her baby, but for herself too. The most important thing throughout the whole adoption process is for the child to find a loving home so they can grow up happy and healthy.

If you are a birth mother who is thinking of choosing a transracial adoptive family for your baby, Adoption Choices of Missouri will provide you with all the information and resources you’ll need when you’re considering transracial adoption to help out. We’ve also passed along the benefits of transracial adoption to give further encouragement.

For all things adoption, find us here and let’s get started on your own adoption plan.

Adoption Choices of Missouri serves birth parents statewide and beyond, please call us or text us to learn more! Call us toll free at 877-903-4488 or, in Missouri call or text us at 1-816-527-9800

Meet the Author: My name is Alexander Charles Cooper, I come from a family of four that originates from Philadelphia, Pennsylvania. I, along with my younger brother Greyson were born in North Carolina, three years after my parents had wed and moved to the state. Alexander shares his birthday with Maya Angelou, which he takes great pride in.

Growing up, Alexander had the privilege of having both parents in his life and a stable upbringing in which he was surrounded by family and friends. He believes that much of his family foundation is built on faith which has given him a discipline and practice that has allowed him to discover and build his spiritual self. He is also interested in politics and worldly news that allows him to excel in American literature, philosophy/ethics, and higher learning.

From that, his passion in writing bloomed and he found his true calling: “I wished to create and write for a living and know it will be what makes me happiest. My only wish is for me to bring about positive change for others both near and far and leave a lasting legacy that contributes to the overall wellbeing and joy of others.”

Communication in an Open Adoption for a Birth Mother

Birth Mother Blog

The Top 5 Tips to Use to Communicate in an Open Adoption for a Birth Mother

February 19, 2021 Adoption Choices of Missouri

The Top 5 Tips to Use to Communicate in an Open Adoption for a Birth Mother

Communication is an essential tool to have as a birth mother as you navigate down the path of adoption. Having open communication with your child’s adoptive parents will help you. This way, you can build lifelong bonds between your child and their adoptive parents in your adoption journey.

Now, communication in an open adoption can be difficult as you don’t want to overstep your birth parent role. With the help of our agency, Adoption Choices of Missouri, we have listed the top 5 tips that can help you better communicate in your open adoption.

Ways to Communicate in an Open Adoption for a Birth Mother

Use Positive Adoption Language

Adoption has many terms that you will hear and come across through your adoption journey. You may listen to them speak to you or about you. As a birth mother, you will probably listen to questions like, “Why did you give your child up?” A critical response would be not to answer this question; however, the positive way to answer this question is to say, “I placed my child up for adoption to give him or her a better life.”

Using positive adoption language is so important for you as a birth mother. It will help you embrace your adoption choice and help you heal during the painful moments with positive emotions surrounding your adoption. This will also provide you with a positive way to form a bond with your birth child, adoptive parents, and adoptive community.

Use All Social Media Platforms

Having social media accounts is a great way to keep in touch with your birth child and his or her adoptive parents. Social media pages, like Facebook and Instagram, are great platforms to share photos of you and your child’s precious moments with your child’s adoptive family, if given permission. They are also great ways to share your personal adoption story and become an advocate for why adoption is such an important decision to make.

Embrace Changes to Your Adoption Plan

Whether you are just beginning your adoption or your adoption is already finalized, changes between you and your child’s adoptive family may occur. For instance, they may move to another state, and communication may be less for a time. Make sure to be open and honest about the changes in your birth child’s life and how you want to approach and tackle these things when speaking with your child’s adoptive parents. The better prepared you are for these upcoming changes means the more positive reaction you have towards the situation and the future interactions between you and the adoptive family.

Set Boundaries for your Adoption

As a birth mother, you may want to set boundaries for your adoption. Letting the adoptive parents know how involved you will be in your child’s life, is a great way to is a great way to all stay on the same page. It is also a good thing to let the adoptive parents know that you will work with them to help your birth child succeed in life.

Setting boundaries between you, your child, the adoptive parents can be a bit challenging. Navigating the different communication relationships can cause a bit of chaos. But, your thoughts and level of openness matters. As a birth mother, you and the adoptive mother may communicate daily or sometimes very little; however, that does not mean that the adoptive parents do not value your parenting input. Remember, you still have a say in some of the decisions when it comes to your child, as you are still an important part of your birth child’s life.

Keep Open Communication with the Adoptive Parents

Having open communication between you and your child’s adoptive parents is as important as your relationship with you and your child as they grow and move forward through the years. Keeping an open mind when communicating your thoughts or concerns to your child’s adoptive parents reassures them that you are free to every type of conversation and that you have a valued opinion on certain things regarding your child. Also, no matter if you disagree on certain things, you will be understanding and open to suggestions and listen with an open heart. Communication is the key to a positive adoption as a whole.

Open Communication for Birth Mothers in an Open Adoption

As a birth mother, communication can happen more or less with you and your birth child’s family. Depending on your comfort level, you can use any communication tools that feel comfortable to you. At Adoption Choices of Missouri, we understand how difficult and rewarding the choice of adoption is for you as a birth mother. In saying this, you deserve a voice as another parent to your birth child.

Open communication will provide you with a sense of belonging and peace in developing an open and honest relationship where you will be valued and give support throughout your adoption journey.

Adoption Choices of Missouri serves birth parents statewide and beyond, please call us or text us to learn more! Call us toll free at 877-903-4488 or, in Missouri call or text us at 1-816-527-9800

She currently lives in Yorkville, Illinois with her mom and two sisters.

Birth Mother Blog

The Top 3 Benefits of Adoption for Adoptees

February 18, 2021 Adoption Choices of Missouri

The Top 3 Benefits of Adoption for Adoptees

If you are a birth mother in Missouri, you’re probably busy making adoption plans and preparations for your pregnancy. You have made a decision that is best for you and have read about the many benefits of adoption for birth mothers. Maybe now you’re wondering — What about my birth child? Will they be okay?

In answer — yes! There are many wonderful benefits of adoption for adoptees.

At Adoption Choices of Missouri, our top priorities are the safety and comfort of you and your baby. Our staff is more than happy to help address any questions or concerns you have about the safety and wellbeing of your child post-adoption.

1. Your Child will Experience a Stable Home

One of the benefits of adoption for your birth child is the chance for them to grow up in a stable home environment. Each birth mother has her own unique reason for beginning her adoption journey. If you are worried about your ability to provide stability for your child, you can rest assured that any adoptive family you select will be able to do so.

At our adoption agency, you will have the opportunity to look through our extensive portfolios of prospective adoptive families before making a selection. Each adoptive family is required to undergo background checks and home visits to ensure that they are fully prepared and dedicated for parenthood. These screenings also help ensure that any adoptive family you choose will have the financial and emotional means to provide stability for your child.

What is the importance of a stable home for a child? There are endless answers. Children flourish when they have the opportunity to discover themselves in a safe environment. Structure and routine can play an essential role in productive day-to-day activities such as completing and returning homework, making new friends and eating nourishing meals.

2. Your Child will Be Loved

For many adoptive families, the road to raising a child of their own has been rocky. The opportunity to adopt your child is a life-changing event for them and can be the source of much joy and celebration. Experiencing a childhood full of love and support will help your child blossom and will only add to their daily happiness.

Keep in mind we are certainly not questioning or challenging your own love for your child. We understand that choosing adoption, in no way, insinuates that your love for your child is less than the love he or she will receive from their adoptive family. However, it can be helpful to remember that your child’s adoptive family will love and appreciate them greatly each and every day.

If you are still experiencing worry or doubt about the kind of love or treatment that your child will experience with their adoptive family, you can always reach out for some help. Adoption Choices of Missouri offers free counseling services before, during and post adoption, which can provide a safe space to discuss any worries or fears that you are still holding on to.

3. More Opportunities will Be Open to Your Child

Adoptees often find themselves presented with multitudes of different opportunities as they grow older. These opportunities can range from academic to emotional in nature. Your child may excel in school due to having the space to study and ask questions. They may build lifelong friendships or relationships that blossom into partnerships, business or otherwise. Perhaps they find their passion through having the freedom to try as many things as they want before settling on something.

Whatever the opportunities are that open up for your child, chances are they will be life-altering (in a good way). Given time, support and love, your child can become capable of so many creative and inspiring things. Choosing adoption can ensure that your child has the opportunities that will help them discover themselves and grow into thoughtful and kind adults.

Benefits of Adoption for Adoptees

These are just a few of the benefits of adoption for adoptees. There are so many children who grow up in an adoptive family and experience all kinds of love and support. At Adoption Choices of Missouri, we will guide you along your adoption journey. Our goal is to provide education and support so that you can feel confident in every step of your journey.

Adoption Choices of Missouri serves birth parents statewide and beyond, please call us or text us to learn more! Call us toll free at 877-903-4488 or, in Missouri call or text us at 1-816-527-9800

She currently lives in Seattle, her first home outside of California.

Birth Mother Blog

I’m 15 and Pregnant – Help!

February 17, 2021 Adoption Choices of Missouri

I’m 15 and Pregnant – Help!

Being fifteen isn’t always easy. There is so much going on, and sometimes it can all feel pretty overwhelming. If you are 15 and pregnant, then things could be even more complicated. You’ve probably got a lot of different feelings running around inside you right now, and that’s completely natural. The important thing to remember is that you are not alone and that you do have support available to you.

If you are facing an unplanned pregnancy, Adoption Choices of Missouri can help you navigate these uncharted waters. Our staff is available to answer questions and provide resources and support. If you are wondering what to do next, here are some helpful tips.

Find the Support Available to You if You’re 15 and Pregnant

Facing emotional and life-changing events alone can be almost impossible. If you have recently found out that you are pregnant, confide in someone that you can trust. They can be a friend, a family member or anyone you feel safe with.

Sharing your news can have a number of positive benefits. For one, you will have someone to confide your feelings in. Pregnancy can be an emotional journey and you will have some big decisions to make; so, it can be helpful to have someone to talk to. Additionally, this person can help you make decisions and be your support throughout your pregnancy.

If you don’t have someone in your life who you can trust, come to our adoption agency. We welcome birth mothers of all ages and backgrounds. We will pair you with an adoption caseworker who can be your support and guide you through your available options.

Inform Your Parents or Guardians of Your Teenage Pregnancy

This part may seem very intimidating or downright scary. Depending on your individual situation, your parents or guardians may have different reactions. While it might seem tempting to put this conversation off for as long as you can, it won’t be possible to delay forever. Eventually, your baby bump will begin to show and it will become clear that you are pregnant. Additionally, your parents or guardians may be able to help with financial and emotional decisions in the long-run.

Preparing exactly what you are going to say can also be helpful. This will likely be a difficult conversation, but planning for it will help alleviate some of the anxiety. If you have a trusted friend, practice out loud with them. Remember, no matter your parents’ reactions, you deserve kindness and support as you begin this journey.

Create an Adoption Plan for Your Teenage Pregnancy

You have three options available to you moving forward. You can choose to place your baby for adoption, raise your child, or terminate your pregnancy. There is no right choice, only the one that is best for you.

If you choose to place your baby for adoption, your first step will be to schedule an initial meeting at Adoption Choices of Missouri. We will pair you with an adoption caseworker who will be your guide throughout your adoption journey. There are many benefits to choosing adoption, including the ability to select your child’s adoptive family, receive financial support (if you are eligible) and remain in contact with your child if you choose.

Another option available to you is to raise your child. This is a life-long commitment and comes with its own unique challenges and rewards. You will need to think about details regarding finances, home environment and your own life ambitions.

Finally, you can choose to have an abortion. If you are considering this option, you will need to make a decision before you are twenty-two weeks pregnant. After that time, abortions are illegal in the state of Missouri. You can google nearby clinics in your area or, if you have healthcare, you can have the procedure done at your doctor’s office.

Whichever road you take, there will be many heavy emotions and big decisions to make along the way. Reach out for support whenever you need it. If you don’t have the support of your friends or family, try googling support groups in your area. There are many different groups dedicated to created a safe space for birth mothers, teenage mothers or women and girls going through an abortion. Our adoption agency also offers counseling services throughout your pregnancy, the adoption process and post adoption as well.

15 and Pregnant – Help!

The most important things to remember if you are 15 and pregnant are that you are not alone and you deserve kindness and support. Confide in the people around you who will love and care for you no matter what. If someone is not treating you well, find support elsewhere. Our staff at Adoption Choices of Missouri are always available to help. Our top goal is to make sure that you begin your adoption journey in a confident, safe and educated way.

Adoption Choices of Missouri serves birth parents statewide and beyond, please call us or text us to learn more! Call us toll free at 877-903-4488 or, in Missouri call or text us at 1-816-527-9800

She currently lives in Seattle, her first home outside of California.

Birth Mother Blog

Getting Help with Your Teen Pregnancy: Why You Should Consider Adoption if You are 16 and Pregnant in Missouri

February 16, 2021 Adoption Choices of Missouri

Getting Help with Your Teen Pregnancy: Why You Should Consider Adoption if You are 16 and Pregnant in Missouri

An unplanned pregnancy is difficult at any age, and being sixteen is already hard enough as it is. But when you combine the two? It is definitely a difficult and emotional journey. No wonder there are so many movies and TV shows that try to depict what being sixteen and pregnant is like.

Except that your unexpected pregnancy isn’t just some movie like Juno or some reality TV show like 16 and Pregnant. This is your life, and this is really happening. You’re a real person, not just some statistic or overly-dramatized scripted character. That’s exactly why Adoption Choices of Missouri is here for you.

Whether or Not You Choose Adoption, Do Not Wait to Seek Help as a Pregnant Teenager

So, you’re sixteen and pregnant in Missouri. What happens next? That’s up to you. The first thing you should do is inform your parents or legal guardian and schedule a doctor’s appointment.

Telling your parents and going to a doctor’s appointment is probably the last thing you want to deal with right now. But the quicker you get telling them out of the way, the quicker you can get any supplemental care or prenatal treatment you may need. And the quicker you can get the information you need to make a decision on whether you would like to pursue parenting, abortion, or adoption.

The longer you wait to speak with someone and decide what you would like to do, the more your other options will be closed off to you. For example, in Missouri, abortion is only legal up to 22 weeks from your last menstrual period. Even if you do decide to keep the baby and go ahead with parenting, waiting longer will only mean less time to save money and buy important items that the baby will need. Although you can choose adoption at any point in your pregnancy, even up until you are in the delivery room, you will not have as much time to look through prospective adoptive family portfolios and choose the right adoptive family for you.

The Top 5 Reasons to Choose Adoption if You are 16 and Pregnant in Missouri

Your Voice will Be Heard. Your consent comes first. You are the one in charge here. As the birth mother, you will have the final decision over every aspect of the adoption process. From choosing adoption in the first place and deciding what type of adoption suits you, all the way to picking out an adoptive family and making your birth plan, yours is the absolute and final say. Your adoption caseworker will work with you and make sure that you are comfortable with everything that is happening and that your wishes are being met throughout your entire adoption plan.

Financial and Medical Assistance. Stress is bad for expectant mothers and their babies, and you should not have to stress yourself out trying to make ends meet or afford medical care while you are pregnant. There are many forms of financial and medical assistance available to you through adoption. Your adoption caseworker will help you every step of the way to make sure that all of your basic needs are met. Assistance may take many different forms, including but not limited to: safe housing, transportation, groceries, medical care, and legal representation. The sooner you get in touch with us, the sooner we can begin working to provide you with any financial aid or relief you may need.

Different Types of Adoption to Choose From. Adoption is more than just the process of picking out an adoptive family and giving birth. It is about your life during post-placement too. You get to choose the level of involvement you would like in your baby’s life after the adoption process. You have the option of choosing between an open, closed, or semi-open adoption. Closed adoption is the type of adoption that gets more heavily portrayed in the media, and it means that you are not involved and do not maintain contact after the adoption process is over. However, open adoption allows you to keep in touch with your baby and the adoptive family throughout your lives so that you can still get to know the person he or she grows up to be. Semi-open adoption falls between those two, usually relying more on written correspondence like letters or emails.

Support Counseling. Not only is Postpartum Depression a real and serious condition, but it is also realistic to expect that you will experience some level of uncertainty and grief over such a life-changing decision. Counseling and emotional support is yet another resource we provide to help with adjusting to life throughout the adoption process and during post-placement afterwards. We are not just here to help with the financial struggles and paperwork. We understand that you may need help with everything you are going through emotionally as well.

You and Your Baby can Both Live Your Best Life. You and your baby should both be able to live your best life. But that might not necessarily mean living it together. And that’s ok. We like to say that adoption is not “giving up” your baby. Instead, you are placing your baby for adoption in a loving home so that he or she can have the best opportunities in life. Raising a baby is difficult at any age, but at sixteen you already have so much on your plate and so much to look forward to in life. You want to be sure that your baby will be provided with all the time, attention, and constant care that a baby requires. Adoption is a selfless act of love, not a selfish one.

Choosing Adoption is Always Your Decision, Even as a Pregnant Teenager in Missouri

Being a teenager can be so frustrating. Your parents and teachers always think they know what’s best for you and try to tell you what to do like you’re still a little kid, but you’re almost legally an adult. You’re even old enough to drive now. You may be sixteen and pregnant in Missouri, but this is your baby. That’s why it’s important that you are the one who makes this decision. If you are considering adoption, know that you will be in charge of every aspect of your adoption plan. Don’t wait until it’s too late and time makes the decision for you, contact Adoption Choices of Missouri today to find out if adoption is right for you.

Adoption Choices of Missouri serves birth parents statewide and beyond, please call us or text us to learn more! Call us toll free at 877-903-4488 or, in Missouri call or text us at 1-816-527-9800

Birth Mother Blog

Benefits of Transracial Adoption for Birth Mothers in Missouri

February 15, 2021 Adoption Choices of Missouri

Benefits of Transracial Adoption for Birth Mothers in Missouri

Love is truly a rainbow. A spectrum of all colors and hues that the eye can see. It takes shape in many forms and sometimes can be found in the most unlikely of places. We will not deny that having a transracial adoptive family comes with its own set of unique obstacles and challenges, but the advantages and benefits from it make it all the more worth it.

Adoption Choices of Missouri has some insight on what makes transracial adoptive families so special, and the many, many rewards it offers to both child and birth mother.

Diversity is Important in a Home with Transracial Adoption

The world is such a colorful place. One filled with so many stories, traditions, and customs that are carried by the people in it. Exposure or in the least, acknowledgement of these differences in people helps broaden the mind of both your child and the transracial adoptive family you’ve placed him or her in the care of.

Be it in a closed or open adoption, there is an exchange of history and culture when a baby is placed in a transracial home. Everything from their skin color to how they walk, the clothes they wear, the music they listen to, is now added to your own life as well. When having this exchange of culture, you may have opportunities to broaden your own horizons on some things that you enjoy and, potentially, venture into new adventures.

A multiracial and multicultural home makes it all the easier to embrace those said differing traditions or customs. The early exposure of these differences is great for a child’s identity, and knowing that the world is so big and that the lives leading it are even bigger. It eliminates any possibility of developing stereotypes or prejudice when children learn about its beauty.

Those negative emotions being deterred are just one of many benefits of transracial adoption that both child and birth mother are given in the adoption journey.

Diversity in the Home Teaches Empathy with Transracial Adoption

It would be wrong to deny a child the conversation about race. It would be wrong to deliberately avoid the discussion that needs to be had in regard to racial or societal injustices that marginalized groups face on a daily basis. The challenges people have endured not only in our own community, but also around the world, is a lesson within itself that anyone can take and learn from.

Taking the time to acknowledge those struggles teaches you and your child that there are certainly some privileges others face that look like you, and they may be disadvantages to others who do not — and vice versa. Children are naturally curious and inquisitive. They want to know why things are the way they are. They want to know the history of things, and how they got to where they are now. The empathy comes when they are given the hard truth and stories of adversity marginalized groups have faced over the course of several years, and what those same groups are doing to improve their livelihood.

The benefits of transracial adoption not only challenges your perspective on how you see the world, but also opens doors in how you can positively impact those around you. The first step is educating yourself and learning the reality of things. When doing so, your empathy and understanding of that reality grows. You learn how to combat those same prejudices certain races and people face everyday.

Transracial Adoption Bridges and Networks Different Communities

One of the core foundations of a loving home and a pillar of the adoption community is unity. During the adoption process, birth mothers are reminded that they are the key in creating families. That they wield the power of putting their child in a loving and healthy home, even if it is not with them. Such a selfless act of love like that alone is enough to bring peoples and worlds together that were separate at one point.

You shatter and break the stigma of having multiracial homes and become part of the force to make it the norm, and not something to be feared. Placing your baby in a transracial adoptive family brings so many chances of new connections that you never would’ve thought of.

Those connections can be anything from trying different culturally available foods, experiencing and listening to different world wide artists from across the globe, or even taking the time to deep-dive into places outside of your own comfort zone. The benefits of transracial adoption gives so many chances to forge new links and make new relationships that reach different people.

The Benefits of Transracial Adoption

Do not be afraid to go beyond your own race when placing your baby into the care of another family. The bottom line, and the most important thing of all, is for your child to be raised happily and healthy. That’s what matters — not skin color.

For all things adoption, find us here and let’s get started on your adoption plan.

Adoption Choices of Missouri serves birth parents statewide and beyond, please call us or text us to learn more! Call us toll free at 877-903-4488 or, in Missouri call or text us at 1-816-527-9800

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