Birth Mother Blog

An Introduction to Adoption for Pregnant Women in Missouri

December 31, 2020

An Introduction to Adoption for Pregnant Women in Missouri

Are you an expectant mother living in Missouri who is considering placing your baby for adoption? If so, you probably have a lot of questions. The good news is that Adoption Choices of Missouri has answers! If you are not familiar with the process of adoption at all, a good place to start is with a basic introduction to adoption for birth mothers. 

What is Adoption? 

If you are a pregnant woman who wants to place your baby for adoption, it is important to know what adoption actually is. We see it all over the place — in television shows and movies, in stories of celebrity couples, in daily life — but it is still common to hold incorrect assumptions about adoption. 

Simply put, adoption is the legal process of placing your baby in the permanent care of another family or caregiver. Each birth mother’s and adoptive family’s story and experience is unique, but will share some aspects, such as the legal rights of the adoptive family to raise the child. If you have any further questions about what adoption is, the staff at Adoption Choices of Missouri are happy to help answer these for you.

What are Some Reasons Expectant Mothers Choose to Place their Babies for Adoption?

Because every expectant mother is an individual, there will be many different reasons that she may choose to place their baby for adoption. Sometimes an unplanned pregnancy can occur at a time when she is not financially able to raise the child in the way that she would like. Other times career goals might not allow space for a baby at the current moment. Perhaps you are simply not ready for the life-altering reality of having a child. 

Whatever your own personal reason for considering adoption, know that it is valid. At Adoption Choices of Missouri, we understand the emotional weight of making the decision to place your baby for adoption and are here to support your choices. Should you choose this path, you will also be matched with an adoption caseworker who will be able to guide you throughout your adoption journey. 

What are Some Benefits of Adoption? 

There are endless benefits to placing your baby for adoption in Missouri. You are making a choice that is best for you and your child. If you are not in a position to raise a child, then choosing adoption is a positive path for everyone involved. You will also be making an impact on your child’s adoptive family as well. Placing your child for adoption can help realize the dreams of a loving and supportive adoptive family. Sharing in their joy can be an uplifting and positive experience. 

Adoption does not have to mean an end to any relationship with your child. Your adoption caseworker can help you choose the kind of contact you’d like to have with your child. These are just a few of the benefits of adoption, but there are countless more that will be unique to your situation. 

What are the Different Types of Adoption? 

There are several different types of adoption that you can choose from. You will be in control of how much, or how little, contact you have with your child and their adoptive family post-adoption. Your adoption caseworker can walk you through the benefits of each kind of adoption to ensure that you select the one that is right for you. 

How can I Begin My Adoption Journey? 

Beginning anything can feel daunting, but Adoption Choices of Missouri is here to help make your adoption journey as smooth as possible. You may call our adoption agency or connect with us via our online contact form at any time. From there, you will schedule an initial meeting and complete the necessary paperwork. You will also be matched with an adoption caseworker who will help guide you through the rest of the adoption process. Remember, we are always here to help.

Introduction to Adoption for Birth Mothers

While there are probably so many more questions buzzing around in your head, these are a good place to start. Our staff at Adoption Choices of Missouri are here to educate you and support you should you choose to place your baby for adoption. Our top priority is to make you as well-informed and comfortable as possible. 

Adoption Choices of Missouri serves birth parents statewide and beyond, please call us or text us to learn more! Call us toll free at 877-903-4488 or, in Missouri call or text us at 1-816-527-9800

Meet the Author: Molly Doyle is a native San Franciscan, Molly is an experienced educator and a dedicated writer. She holds her multiple subject teaching credential as well as her Masters of Arts in Teaching. When not teaching children or creating new written pieces, Molly can be found kicking around a soccer ball, going for urban hikes or whipping up a fruit pie. 

She currently lives in Seattle, her first home outside of California. 

Birth Mother Blog

4 Types of People You Need on Your Missouri Adoption Team 

December 30, 2020

4 Types of People You Need on Your Missouri Adoption Team 

Have you ever tried to complete a difficult task or an emotional journey alone? It can be an alienating feeling and can make something difficult even more challenging. Asking for help and finding the right kind of support makes a world of difference. 

If you are an expectant mother who is about to embark on her adoption journey, it is important to surround yourself with positive people who make you feel supported and safe. There are several different types of people you need on your adoption team to make your journey as smooth as possible. 

  1. Adoption Caseworker

Once you have made your decision to move forward with the adoption process, Adoption Choices of Missouri will match you with an adoption caseworker. Your adoption caseworker will be your guide throughout your adoption journey and will be there to answer any questions or concerns that you might have. They will be there from the beginning of your journey all the way through to the end. 

  1. Supportive Friends

Having friends who support your decision can make a huge impact throughout your adoption journey. There are many emotional moments and difficult decisions to be made along the way. A supportive friend can be a shoulder to cry on, an ear to listen or someone to share joy with. They can help relieve some of the intense emotions you may experience as well as provide light and laughter when needed. You can even invite one of your friends into the delivery room with you for extra support if you need it. 

  1. Someone Who Understands Your Experience 

While having a supportive friend who knows you well and loves you deeply is extremely important, it can also be useful to create connections with birth mothers who have experience with the adoption process. If you don’t personally know anyone who has placed their baby for adoption, no worries! There are so many different support groups available for expectant mothers who are placing their baby for adoption. Try searching for a group in your area and check it out. Remember, you don’t have to keep going if you don’t like it. The goal is to feel as supported and welcomed as possible. 

  1. A Doctor or Midwife

One decision that you will need to make is where you want to deliver your baby. Your adoption caseworker can help you make a choice that reflects your personal preferences and beliefs. As your due date approaches, you will need to select a hospital and a doctor. If you have decided on a home birth, you might want to search for a doula or a midwife with whom you feel a strong connection. Having someone you trust in charge of your delivery can help ease any worries or concerns. 

Types of People You Need on Your Adoption Team 

Your adoption journey will be filled with many big choices and emotional moments. It is important that your adoption team is well-equipped to provide you with the support that you need throughout your adoption journey. While Adoption Choices of Missouri is here to assist you and provide you with an adoption caseworker, you will also want to create a team that fits your personal needs. 

These are just a few types of people you need on your adoption team, but we know that your team will be as individual as you are. Adoption Choices of Missouri is here to provide support in choosing your adoption team so that you can feel confident and safe as you embark upon your adoption journey.

Adoption Choices of Missouri serves birth parents statewide and beyond, please call us or text us to learn more! Call us toll free at 877-903-4488 or, in Missouri call or text us at 1-816-527-9800

Meet the Author: Molly Doyle is a native San Franciscan, Molly is an experienced educator and a dedicated writer. She holds her multiple subject teaching credential as well as her Masters of Arts in Teaching. When not teaching children or creating new written pieces, Molly can be found kicking around a soccer ball, going for urban hikes or whipping up a fruit pie. 

She currently lives in Seattle, her first home outside of California. 

Birth Mother Blog

Five Factors to Remember when Considering Adoption as a Pregnant Woman in Missouri 

December 29, 2020

Five Factors to Remember when Considering Adoption as a Pregnant Woman in Missouri 

An unplanned pregnancy can seem scary. Sifting through the piles of information scattered across the internet can feel overwhelming and exhausting. That is why our adoption specialists at Adoption Choices of Missouri are here for you. Although the decision is yours alone to make, it is vital that you understand that you are not alone in the adoption process. We will work with you every step of the way, and together we will find the best adoption plan tailored to meet all of your requirements.

We are here to help you understand all the ins and outs of the adoption process while you consider what is the right option for you. No matter what you decide, there is no pressure. You are completely in control of every aspect of the adoption process, and we are here to help you figure out what is the best fit for you.

  1. Remember: You are Not “Giving Up” Your Baby

For many pregnant women here in Missouri, using the correct terminology while considering adoption is very important. Some people say that they are giving up their baby for adoption, but we like to say that you are placing your baby for adoption. Why the notable difference? Because you aren’t giving up. Rather, you are enduring a difficult decision and process in order to guarantee that your baby has the best life possible. What could be more noble than that?

Many birth mothers struggle with feeling like they are “giving up” their baby or being selfish, but this is simply not the case and could not be further from the truth. This is a courageous, caring, and selfless act of love on your part for the good of the baby. 

It is natural to grieve over the loss of motherhood, but you don’t have to perceive adoption as missing out on your baby’s life. Instead, think of it as giving your baby their best chance at life and gaining a second family. 

  1. You Decide What Level of Involvement is Right for You

In order to decide how involved you want to be, it is important to first know the three main types of adoption: open, closed, and semi-open. The most popular form of adoption in the U.S. today is an open adoption.

Open adoption allows you and the adoptive family to stay in touch by sharing contact information and maintaining communication. We strongly encourage this form of adoption as we believe it keeps everyone’s best interests at heart. Yet, we understand that each and every expectant mother is different and will have her own reasons for choosing the type of adoption she’s most comfortable with. Be sure to talk with your adoption caseworker about the pros and cons of each option.

  1. You Get to Choose the Adoptive Parents

Another factor to remember when considering adoption as a pregnant woman in Missouri is that you have the opportunity to choose who you want to raise your child. Depending on the level of openness you want after the adoption has been finalized, you may even get the chance to meet the adoptive parents before your baby is born. This way, you can get to know them and discuss what life will look like for you all post placement. 

If you don’t want to select the adoptive parents, that’s okay too. It is completely up to you and is all about what you’re the most comfortable with and what you feel is best. If you opt out of selecting your adoptive family, we will select a pre-qualified family for you. 

No matter what you decide, though, our adoption specialists work with you to make sure that you find the right match for you. 

  1. Find Strength through Similar Stories and Shared Experiences

Learning about the experiences of other birth mothers can help you when you are considering adoption. You can find firsthand accounts and testimonials from other birth mothers who have chosen adoption. There are many interviews and blogs that describe the journey of what these women went through and how they overcame it. Everyone’s story and background are different, but every birth mother shares certain core, fundamental experiences when choosing adoption.

There are many reasons why you may be placing your baby for adoption. You may want to be a mom one day but just aren’t ready yet, you may feel that you are too young, or you may be facing a difficult hardship in your life that does not currently allow for you to be a parent, physically or financially. Whatever the reason behind your decision is, firsthand accounts from other pregnant women on their adoption journey in Missouri will help you while you consider adoption. You can get a great sense of community and support by reading the stories of other birth mothers.

Maybe you will even want to grow that sense of community by making your own first-hand account to help others who will one day share your journey. You can start your own blog and inspire others by keeping an online journal of everything you feel and go through each day. 

  1. Support Services are Available to You as a Birth Mother

Adoption Choices of Missouri offers many different support services if you are considering adoption as a pregnant woman in Missouri. Not only will our adoption specialists help you make your birth and adoption plans, but we will also provide a variety of different services to make the adoption process as easy as possible. 

We provide medical care that covers prenatal appointments and hospital fees, transportation to doctor appointments or the pharmacy, housing if your current living situation is unsafe or stressful, mental health care counselors during your pregnancy and through post placement, and legal representation for your rights as a birth mother. 

We offer many diverse forms of assistance and aid to cover your every need.

Considering Adoption as a Pregnant Woman in Missouri

Whether you are picking out your adoptive family, making your birth plan, deciding what kind of adoption best suits you, or adjusting to life post placement, we are here to offer our support. We want you to recognize that you are performing a very loving and selfless act by giving the best life possible to your baby. We will work with you to verify that your adoption plan is the one that best suits your wishes, allowing you to be as involved in your baby’s life as you want. Our adoption specialists are at your service, along with the multitude of financial and mental health benefits that we provide.

Adoption Choices of Missouri serves birth parents statewide and beyond, please call us or text us to learn more! Call us toll free at 877-903-4488 or, in Missouri call or text us at 1-816-527-9800

Meet the Author: Kelly Felix is a graduate from the University of New Orleans. She holds a BA in English as well as a BA in Sociology. Her English concentration is in journalism, and her specialties in sociology are gender studies and environmental sociology.

When she isn’t voraciously guzzling coffee or devouring books, Kelly can be found either bent over a canvas working on her art or at her computer playing video games. She has hands-on classroom teaching experience from her time working as a substitute teacher for Kelly Services. Kelly also completed an in-house editorial internship at Pelican Publishing Company, and she finished the goal internship program at Green Light New Orleans. Kelly generally exists in a state of suspended disbelief, but when she’s not there she resides in New Orleans.

Birth Mother Blog

Your First New Year’s Eve as a Birth Mother in an Open Adoption

December 28, 2020

Your First New Year’s Eve as a Birth Mother in an Open Adoption

The coming of a New Year signifies new beginnings. People all around the world use the holiday as an opportunity to make resolutions and goals for the next chapter of their lives. Your first New Year’s Eve as a birth mother in an open adoption is the closing of the year, but also the door opening to a whole new page in your new family’s book. 

This year has been a stressful one for all of us, and we are more than happy to see it come to a close. But, despite the chaos of the year 2020,  beautiful moments were created when we needed them the most. Families were made, new traditions were introduced, and we have become even closer with our loved ones even with the social distancing.

If you need adoption help now and looking for adoption agencies in MO, call us toll free at 877-903-4488 or, in Missouri call or text us at 1-816-527-9800

Here are some things that you and your new adoptive family can do to ring in the new year.

1. Plan a Virtual or Phone Celebration

Never before have we ever longed or wanted to be together with loved ones like we have now. The holidays and especially the new year are the celebratory times we want them around. But, thankfully, technology provides us with some options.

Birth mothers and their adoptive families can coordinate a time or date to set aside where they can come together and celebrate. Video chatting or a quick talk on the phone to exchange thankfulness with each other is a perfect way to keep safe and still bring the new year in!

2. Talk with Your Baby and Your Adoptive Family about the Future

The coming new year is a full 365 days of tomorrows we have never seen before. Together, they can and will be filled with nothing but prosperous days. Talking to your child and your adoptive family on what they want to do next year starts the conversation on what they would like to achieve and do together. Getting some input from them and adding your own bridges all your ideas. 

Having that open communication where everyone is allowed to speak and share their thoughts set a precedent for the whole year. Doing this also helps both you and your adoptive family to help follow a potential itinerary or blueprint for the coming new year! Throwing some plans and ideas makes things easier for both families to choose to collaborate on. 

3. Ask Your Baby and Your Adoptive Family about What Happened this Year

When we set our sights on the future, we must also reflect on the past. This past year has been a crazy one for all of us. Talking and asking questions of what they thought about it is another chance to open a discussion and get their thoughts. On top of that, you also can exchange a dialogue of how grateful you all are for having the privilege of still being together. There is also an opportunity there where you can turn it into a game!

Let everyone share what they are happy for this year, next, have them share what they will remember the most about the past year as well. Reflection is a chance to count our blessings and remember what is important to us. 

Adoption Birth Mothers Making New Year’s Resolutions!

As cliche as it may seem, resolutions are the most popular tradition of going into the new year. Birth mothers sometimes have to sacrifice so much and devote time away from themselves to the point it can become overwhelming. With the new year coming in though, it is a chance to rededicate yourself to past endeavors that you thought you may never have time for again. You can make a resolution to pick back up on your education or learn that trade or skill you’ve been wanting to practice for so long!

Sharing these goals and future plans with your family gets them involved and aware of what you want to do with your time. They will be so appreciative that you shared them and may even want to help get you to those goals as well. It becomes a family affair where everyone can join in and help each other in reaching those resolutions. You work together and you succeed together.

Even though this may be your first New Year’s Eve as a birth mother in an open adoption, it is surely not the last. The world may change around you, but the love for your baby and the family that has been given to her or him will not. 

For adoption agencies in MO, see us at Adoption Choices of Missouri.

Adoption Choices of Missouri serves birth parents statewide and beyond, please call us or text us to learn more! Call us toll free at 877-903-4488 or, in Missouri call or text us at 1-816-527-9800

Meet the Author: My name is Alexander Charles Cooper, I come from a family of four that originates from Philadelphia, Pennsylvania. I, along with my younger brother Greyson were born in North Carolina, three years after my parents had wed and moved to the state. Alexander shares his birthday with Maya Angelou, which he takes great pride in. 

Growing up, Alexander had the privilege of having both parents in his life and a stable upbringing in which he was surrounded by family and friends. He believes that much of his family foundation is built on faith which has given him a discipline and practice that has allowed him to discover and build his spiritual self. He is also interested in politics and worldly news that allows him to excel in American literature, philosophy/ethics, and higher learning. 

From that, his passion in writing bloomed and he found his true calling: “I wished to create and write for a living and know it will be what makes me happiest. My only wish is for me to bring about positive change for others both near and far and leave a lasting legacy that contributes to the overall wellbeing and joy of others.”

 

Adoptive Family Birth Father Birth Mother Blog

Merry Christmas from Adoption Choices

December 25, 2020

To all of our friends, families, prospective adoptive families, and birth parents who celebrate Christmas, may the magic of the season fill you with hope and peace! Sending you a very Merry Christmas!

Adoption Choices of Missouri serves birth parents statewide and beyond, please call us or text us to learn more! Call us toll free at 877-903-4488 or, in Missouri call or text us at 1-816-527-9800

Birth Mother Blog

Placing Your Baby for Adoption during the Holidays with Adoption Choices of Missouri

December 23, 2020

Placing Your Baby for Adoption during the Holidays with Adoption Choices of Missouri

The holidays can be pretty stressful and overwhelming, but putting your baby up for adoption doesn’t have to be. Adoption Choices of Missouri is here to help you navigate your adoption journey this holiday season. Our adoption specialists will help take the frustration out of arranging your adoption and birth plans, as well as choosing which post-placement options best suit your needs. Give yourself and your baby the ultimate gift of love this holiday season with the gift of open adoption.

If you need adoption help now, call us toll free at 877-903-4488 or, in Missouri call or text us at 1-816-527-9800

What is Open Adoption? Why is it the Right Choice for You this Holiday Season?

The holidays can be so lonely and demanding all at once. That’s why an open adoption in Missouri may be the right choice for you. Open adoption is now one of the most common types of adoption in the United States, and the type of adoption our adoption agency encourages all birth and adoptive parents to consider. We believe that keeps everyone’s best interests at heart, as it allows birth parents, the child and adoptive parents to stay in touch by sharing contact information and remain connected to varying degrees. 

Different forms of staying in touch look different for each family, and these can vary anywhere between simply sharing information like names and letters, to phone calls and emails, all the way to a fully-open adoption that includes in-person visits, especially during any future holiday seasons.  Your level of involvement is entirely up to you, but your child will have a bigger and better support system either way. 

The Gift that Keeps on Giving

Granting an adoptive family’s dream come true is the gift that keeps on giving. You will also be bestowing your child with the gift of a better life. We know that this can be a very difficult process at the best of times, but that it can be especially tough placing your baby for adoption during the holidays. 

At Adoption Choices of Missouri, we are here to help you pick out the right adoption plan that is based on your needs. This is about what you feel is best for you and your baby. You can help a wonderful adoptive couple or individual make their family bigger while still knowing and learning about your child every year as he or she grows up. 

Thanks to open adoption, now no one has to feel alone during the holiday season. 

Plan for Future Holidays and Manage Your Expectations 

What do you want your future holidays to look like in regards to your relationship with your baby and their adoptive family? Try to imagine what holidays lie ahead and the level of involvement you want in them. Discuss different plans and ideas with your adoption specialist to get started, and to help you decide what degree of communication and participation you want. You can even choose to buy the baby a gift if you would like. The important thing is that the financial burden and parental responsibility is not all on you anymore. 

Maybe you want to pass on certain holiday traditions that were important to you when you were growing up, or you can make your own new ones that better reflect your relationship with your child and their adoptive family. It can be fun to make your own nontraditional holiday traditions. 

But while you are fantasizing about what fun holiday traditions you want to share in the future, it is important to also be realistic and manage your expectations. Try to understand that your level of involvement may naturally fluctuate over time. While the winter season is a great time to catch up on achievements or accomplishments from over the past year, you or the adoptive family may be too busy visiting other family members to meet up for every major holiday. Things happen and life just gets in the way of making plans sometimes, and that’s okay too. The main thing to focus on is that the focus is not all on you anymore, but you don’t have to miss out on getting to know who your child grows up to be.

Don’t Forget to Focus on Yourself this Holiday Season

This is always a stressful time of year, but being pregnant is a great excuse to pamper yourself. De-stress and be your healthiest, best self now so that you can breathe a sigh of relief. While you’re busy worrying about your future and giving the gift of life, don’t forget to give yourself some self-care and R&R. It is important for your health as well as the baby’s that you try your best to not let the pressure and anxiety of the holidays stress you out. 

Treat yourself to a nice, calming bath and some soothing lavender scents. Try some meditation mixed with some light and gentle exercise to clear your mind. Don’t forget to focus on yourself and what is best for you during these nerve-wracking and wearisome times. After all, a healthy and happy birth mother means a healthy and happy baby.

The Holidays Should be a Source of Joy, Not Anguish 

Our adoption specialists at Adoption Choices of Missouri are here to help you with all of your adoption needs this holiday season, whatever they may be. It is very important that the birth mother chooses what level of impact she wants to have over the course of her baby’s life. You can be involved as much as you want, but now the burden is not on your shoulders anymore. 

Think about any future holidays and what you want them to look like. You do have to be realistic — you may not be able to see your baby every winter as they grow up and into a life of their own. But you don’t have to miss out on knowing the person they will become. The holidays don’t have to be a source of loneliness and anxiety. Instead, they can be a chance for you to connect with your baby and their adoptive family. Take this opportunity to take care of yourself. Reflect on what you want and need to make adoption work for you. We are here to help you make the process of placing your baby for adoption during the holidays less stressful and more empowering.

Adoption Choices of Missouri serves birth parents statewide and beyond, please call us or text us to learn more! Call us toll free at 877-903-4488 or, in Missouri call or text us at 1-816-527-9800

Meet the Author: Kelly Felix is a graduate from the University of New Orleans. She holds a BA in English as well as a BA in Sociology. Her English concentration is in journalism, and her specialties in sociology are gender studies and environmental sociology.

When she isn’t voraciously guzzling coffee or devouring books, Kelly can be found either bent over a canvas working on her art or at her computer playing video games. She has hands-on classroom teaching experience from her time working as a substitute teacher for Kelly Services. Kelly also completed an in-house editorial internship at Pelican Publishing Company, and she finished the goal internship program at Green Light New Orleans. Kelly generally exists in a state of suspended disbelief, but when she’s not there she resides in New Orleans.

Birth Mother Blog

Should I Buy My Child’s Adoptive Parents a Gift? 

December 22, 2020

Should I Buy My Child’s Adoptive Parents a Gift? 

Finding the perfect gift for someone can be a challenge. That feeling when you get it right can make it well worth it in the end. If you’re a birth mother entering into the holiday season, you might be asking yourself, Should I buy my child’s adoptive parents a gift? The answer depends on your individual situation, but Adoption Choices of Missouri is here to help you through the process. There are several factors to consider when deciding whether to buy your child’s adoptive parents a gift. 

If you need adoption help now, call us toll free at 877-903-4488 or, in Missouri call or text us at 1-816-527-9800

1. Honor the Type of Adoption You Chose

The question of whether or not to buy a gift for your child’s adoptive parents begins with what type of adoption you have chosen. If you have maintained some level of contact with your child and his or her adoptive family, you can certainly consider purchasing a gift. If you have a closed adoption, it is best to honor the agreement and save your gifts for the other important people in your life. 

2. Respect Their Religious Beliefs

Another factor to consider is the religious beliefs of your child’s adoptive family. Maybe they don’t celebrate Christmas or Hanukkah. Perhaps they don’t participate in the tradition of giving presents during the holidays. If this is the case, it is important for you to respect these personal choices. If you find something perfect that you’d love to give them, you can always save it for another occasion. 

3. Keep in Mind Your Financial Situation

Buying gifts can become very expensive. If you are currently in a stressful financial situation, take a moment to calculate if a gift fits into your budget. While it can be tempting to lean towards more expensive items, remember that a homemade gift or a card can deliver a similar (if not more) heartfelt message. It is always important to keep your own needs in mind during the holiday season. 

4. Be Mindful of Your Feelings

Do not feel pressured to get your child’s adoptive family a gift. Try and take some time to tune in to your own feelings and emotions. Ask yourself why you want to give a gift to your child’s adoptive family. If you truly want to give a present because you are celebrating the holidays or want to do something kind for the family, that’s great! However, if you find yourself wanting to give a gift due to any less positive emotions, such as pressure to appear a certain way, it might be best to hold off. You can always reassess everything during the next holiday season! Remember, the decision to give a gift always remains with you. 

Should I Buy My Child’s Adoptive Parents a Gift? 

The most important thing to do when making the decision to buy your child’s adoptive parents a gift is to listen to your emotions. Remember, you do not have to do anything you are not comfortable with. If you need help thinking through the process, you can always contact your adoption caseworker at Adoption Choices of Missouri for some guidance. You can also turn to friends and family for advice and support. 

Adoption Choices of Missouri serves birth parents statewide and beyond, please call us or text us to learn more! Call us toll free at 877-903-4488 or, in Missouri call or text us at 1-816-527-9800

Meet the Author: Molly Doyle is a native San Franciscan, Molly is an experienced educator and a dedicated writer. She holds her multiple subject teaching credential as well as her Masters of Arts in Teaching. When not teaching children or creating new written pieces, Molly can be found kicking around a soccer ball, going for urban hikes or whipping up a fruit pie. 

She currently lives in Seattle, her first home outside of California. 

 

Birth Mother Blog

Adoption Gift Giving Etiquette as a Birth Mother 

December 21, 2020

Adoption Gift Giving Etiquette as a Birth Mother 

The appropriate gift for someone is as unique as the situation in which it is given. You wouldn’t get your teacher the same present that you got your partner or spouse, for example. Each gift is individual and special to the person you give it to.

If you are a birth mother wondering about adoption gift giving etiquette this holiday season, there are several things to keep in mind. In addition to these factors, you can always turn to your adoption caseworker at Adoption Choices of Missori for some assistance with the gift giving process. 

If you need adoption help now, call us toll free at 877-903-4488 or, in Missouri call or text us at 1-816-527-9800

1. Honor Your Adoption Selection

The most important factor to keep in mind is the type of adoption that you have chosen. If you do not have an open adoption with your adoptive family, then it is inappropriate to break that contract. If you are experiencing heavy emotions during the holidays because you are unable to give a gift to your child or their adoptive family, don’t hesitate to reach out for help from family, friends or your adoption caseworker. 

2. Do Not Overstep Known Boundaries

Similar to giving a gift to a friend, presenting a gift to your adoptive family requires you to keep in mind what you already know about them. Do not select or create a gift that will offend anyone by making light of religious views or personal beliefs. In the same vein, make sure that you are not gifting an item that can be harmful, such as a food that contains an ingredient someone is allergic to. If necessary, always double check before sending a gift if you are at all unsure. 

3. Consider Something Personal 

It can be daunting to begin the decision-making process of what gift to get your adoptive family. A good starting point can be considering something that is personal. A personal gift can connect your and your adoptive family in a deep and positive way. It can also provide a chance for your child to learn more about you, if that is something that you and the adoptive parents are open to. When considering personal gifts, you might think along the lines of photo albums, letters or personalized items. 

4. Pay Attention to Your Budget

Another factor to consider when buying a gift for your adoptive family is your own budget. If you are purchasing a gift, it can be helpful to set a price range and stick to it. You will also want to consider what an appropriate budget is for your adoptive family. Will they be uncomfortable or embarrassed if you give them a very expensive item? Do they usually opt for homemade gifts? Familiarize yourself with this information and then review your own budget, so that you can choose or create a gift that will be appropriate for everyone. 

5. Plan When to Give Your Adoptive Family the Gift

When and how you present your adoptive family or your child’s gift will be unique to your situation. If this is your first time giving them a gift, it might be helpful to check in with them beforehand to see if they have any preferences. You want to avoid any discomfort by giving them a gift in a situation in which they do not feel comfortable or safe. 

Adoption Gift Giving Etiquette as a Birth Mother 

The most important things to keep in mind about adoption gift giving etiquette as a birth mother are your adoptive family’s needs and your own. If you have further questions or concerns about this process, Adoption Choices of Missouri is here to help. We understand the nuances of gift giving and are here to support you as much as possible. 

Adoption Choices of Missouri serves birth parents statewide and beyond, please call us or text us to learn more! Call us toll free at 877-903-4488 or, in Missouri call or text us at 1-816-527-9800

Meet the Author: Molly Doyle is a native San Franciscan, Molly is an experienced educator and a dedicated writer. She holds her multiple subject teaching credential as well as her Masters of Arts in Teaching. When not teaching children or creating new written pieces, Molly can be found kicking around a soccer ball, going for urban hikes or whipping up a fruit pie. 

She currently lives in Seattle, her first home outside of California. 

 

Birth Mother Blog

5 Holiday Traditions to Start in an Open Adoption as a Birth Mother 

December 18, 2020

5 Holiday Traditions to Start in an Open Adoption as a Birth Mother 

As the holidays approach, having an open adoption allows you to share many precious moments with your child as a birth mother. This includes starting your own holiday traditions for your child as a birth mother, as you once shared with your parents. The holidays can bring up the emotions surrounding your choice to place your baby for adoption, but celebrating your child during the festive season will help ease the pain and bring warmth to your heart.

 Creating long-lasting holiday traditions as a birth mother is an important step of your adoption journey. The holidays can be tough knowing that your child may not be physically there with you. That said, you can still start any holiday tradition with your child and their adoptive parents that you can share for years to come. As a birth mother, establishing these traditions early on will be a great way to let your child know just how special and loved they are by you. 

At Adoption Choices of Missouri, we have listed five-holiday traditions to start in an open adoption as a birth mother.

  1. Create a Holiday Ornament

When the holidays come around, having a personalized ornament to hang on your tree or gift to your child is a great way to symbolize your selfless decision to choose adoption for him or her. As a birth mother, you can add your child’s birth weight, size, time and even their footprint to this ornament. You can also include any other special details you want to celebrate your child’s birth. This special gift will remind your child that you will never forget him or her and that they will always hold a special place in your heart and home. 

  1. Write a Letter / Send a Holiday Card

Writing a personalized letter to your child will let them know that you are thinking of them this holiday season. It will also remind him or her how much you love them. You can write special things you want your child to know, like how proud you are of them as they grow up. Writing such a special letter that your child can treasure as the years go by lets the special memory be a keepsake for him or her forever. 

  1. Have an After Holiday Visit

Visiting your child or having a special day picked out after the holidays for you both to enjoy will allow for special moments and a deep bond to form between you two. This special visit could be you inviting your child to your house to bake cookies, or to hang out with you and your family and his or her biological siblings. Whichever activity you choose will forever be a great tradition for your child to celebrate and remind them that they are an important part of your family.

  1. Start a Scrapbook

Capturing the big and small moments during the holiday season is a fantastic way to remember all the special times you get to spend with your child. This could be through taking a lot of pictures or creating a scrapbook. Either way,  your child’s holiday memories with you will have a fun and safe place for them to look at over and over again as they get older. 

  1. Give a Special Present 

If there is a keepsake or something you’d like to give your child, the holiday season is a great time to give it to them. Having a special gift from you will keep your bond with your child growing strong. Additionally, your gift will remind them how much you love them and that you’ll always be close by. 

Holiday Traditions to Start in an Open Adoption as a Birth Mother

As a birth mother, the holidays can be a tough time when going through your adoption journey, whether this is your first or third time celebrating with your child and their adoptive parents. However, it can also be a very special and memorable season where you create holiday traditions and have time together. If you are interested in starting a holiday tradition with your adoption triad this year, talk with your child’s adoptive parents about what would work best. 

Or, if you need extra support, know that Adoption Choices of Missouri is always here for you. We will not be closed during the holidays, so you will never be alone. Our adoption counselors will be available to give you the encouragement, comfort, and confidence you need to make it through this time of the year.

Adoption Choices of Missouri serves birth parents statewide and beyond, please call us or text us to learn more! Call us toll free at 877-903-4488 or, in Missouri call or text us at 1-816-527-9800

Meet the Author: Samara Wiley is a published author of poetry, essays, and an environmental children’s storybook called, Waiting for the Water Fairy. She graduated from Benedictine University in 2018 with a double Bachelor of Arts in English Literature and French.She has been published in three small poetry anthologies one was called Talented.

Her other writing accomplishments include: winning a high school poetry competition and $2500 for her high school, having two out of her five novels be considered for publication and writing movie critic reviews for her university’s newsletter. 

Although she has Cerebral Palsy and has had a turbulent childhood, Samara puts these small specs of herself into her writing to personally connect with her audience. She prides herself on pushing the boundaries in her writing and in her personal life with everything she does. Samara writes with her heart and a voice of compassion, and loves to pull from her top passions in life.

She currently lives in Yorkville, Illinois with her mom and two sisters.

Birth Mother Blog

Adoptive Parent Profile Books: 7 Things to Look for as a Birth Mother in Missouri 

December 17, 2020

Adoptive Parent Profile Books: 7 Things to Look for as a Birth Mother in Missouri 

As a birth mother, deciding to place your baby for adoption is a hard but rewarding decision to make. It shows how deeply you love your child and how you’re keeping their best interests in mind. Now that you’ve chosen to work with our adoption agency, been assigned an adoption caseworker and have begun creating your adoption plan, it’s time to do the next step. Arguably, this is one of the most important steps in your adoption journey — picking your child’s adoptive parents. As a birth mother,your personal values and what lifestyle you want for your child are big decisions, so as you go through the choice of adoption, remember, your personal preferences matter when choosing adoptive parents and will be met with understanding and support. 

As a birth mother, there are many qualities that you will want your child to have, so choosing the right adoptive family for your child is a personal choice that narrows down potential matches from ten down to your top three. At Adoption Choices of Missouri, we have listed the top 7 important things to look for when searching for your child’s adoptive parents.

  1. Marital Status of the Adoptive Parents 

Some birth mothers look for married couples as they want loving, caring and stable parents to raise their child. As a birth mother, you may want to consider this if you prefer a married or unmarried couple to raise your child. If being married or not is a big deal breaker for you, you may reflect on your personal childhood and the relationship that you had with your parents. In understanding what marriage means for you, as a foundation to raise a child, you will understand what love is and what it means when it comes to your child.

  1. Size of the Adoptive Family

You may be wondering if you want your child to grow up in a small or large family, with siblings or not, or with a lot of extended family. Perhapsyou want your child to have a pet. The size of your child’s adoptive family is totally up to you. If you want your child to have a more small intimate family that’s okay, and if you want your child to experience the joy of having a big family then that is fine too. Whatever lifestyle you envisioned for your child, he or she will benefit from your personal choice either way. 

  1. Traditions of Adoptive Parents

As a birth mother, you want to know that your child’s adoptive parents will start and keep family traditions with them. Capturing small moments, like your child baking with his or her mother in the kitchen, or maybe helping them decorate the Christmas tree. Sharing these real moments will reassure you as a birth mother that important values and traditions will not just be a passtime for your child’s family. Rather, they will be memories that last a lifetime. 

  1. Everyday Life for the Adoptive Parents

Consider the daily life of your child’s adoptive parents. Ask what activities they plan to do with your child and how they will teach him and her things throughout your child’s life. For example, will your child’s adoptive parents take a mini trip to the zoo on weekends? Will Sundays be deemed family day, where everyone plays board games, eats pizza, and watches movies together? If you want an adoptive family who is active and spends a lot of time together, you can look for potential couples and individuals who might align with this as you look through their adoptive parent profile books. 

  1. Adoptive Parent Hobbies and Interests 

As a birth mother, having your child experience new and exciting adventures is one big plus to having your child be placed up for adoption. Seeing what kinds of hobbies that your child’s potential adoptive parents can help shape and influence your child towards a better future. For instance, if music was an important aspect of your life, you may look for adoptive parents who are musical or creative that way. Expressing your own interests may help you narrow your options as you search through adoptive parent profile books. 

  1. Family Values and Parenting Philosophies

Your values are important as they are the foundation of the teachings you want your child to learn. As a birth mother, you may want your child to have important values taught, and an open parent style from your chosen adoptive parents that will allow your child to freely express his or herself. Open conversations and having the ability to be honest with each other will help shape your child into a well-rounded person. 

  1. A Personal Message for the Birth Mother

Receiving a personal message from your child’s adoptive parents is an extra step that they can take to let you know you are a big part of this process. Reading this personalized message or letter, lets you establish a connection with the adoptive parents and helps you gain insight into the life they can offer your child. It also acts as a stepping stone to the bond you’ll form once you meet them and walk through the adoption journey together. 

How to Select the Right Adoptive Parents as a Birth Mother 

At our adoption agency, Adoption Choices of Missouri, we have detailed adoptive parent profiles that will highlight the top qualities that you, as a birth mother, will be looking for and wanting for your child. As a birth mother, your adoption caseworker will work with you to narrow down your choices based on your personal preferences. 

There is no right or wrong way to choose, just as there is no rush. Choosing who will raise your child is a big decision and will take time. Carefully read through each adoptive parent profile and take note of any connection you feel. This can help guide you as well. Remember that just as you are choosing a family for your child, the adoptive parents are also  choosing you as the birth mother. Selecting the right family for your child is such an important step in your adoption journey. It’s worth the time and effort to give your child the loving and caring adoptive parents they deserve.

Adoption Choices of Missouri serves birth parents statewide and beyond, please call us or text us to learn more! Call us toll free at 877-903-4488 or, in Missouri call or text us at 1-816-527-9800

Meet the Author: Samara Wiley is a published author of poetry, essays, and an environmental children’s storybook called, Waiting for the Water Fairy. She graduated from Benedictine University in 2018 with a double Bachelor of Arts in English Literature and French.She has been published in three small poetry anthologies one was called Talented.

Her other writing accomplishments include: winning a high school poetry competition and $2500 for her high school, having two out of her five novels be considered for publication and writing movie critic reviews for her university’s newsletter. 

Although she has Cerebral Palsy and has had a turbulent childhood, Samara puts these small specs of herself into her writing to personally connect with her audience. She prides herself on pushing the boundaries in her writing and in her personal life with everything she does. Samara writes with her heart and a voice of compassion, and loves to pull from her top passions in life.

She currently lives in Yorkville, Illinois with her mom and two sisters.

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