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Reasons Birth Fathers Choose Adoption

Reasons Birth Fathers Choose Adoption

Typically when we think of adoption, we think of the birth mother and her role. There is less discussion about birth fathers, their position in the adoption process and why they choose adoption for their child. This raises the stereotype that birth fathers are not present or known during the adoption journey. Such a generalization about birth fathers does not account for all birth fathers, including those who are present for adoption. 

It is important to acknowledge that present birth fathers do have an important role in the adoption journey, just as much as birth mothers. This week, Adoption Choices of Missouri will be discussing reasons birth fathers choose adoption

An Unplanned Pregnancy 

When a birth mother faces an unplanned pregnancy, the emotional and financial preparedness to raise a child are usually unplanned for as well. A birth father may still be finishing up earning a degree and securing a job as he establishes himself. Bringing a child into the world without necessary preparation can not only hinder a birth parent’s incomplete goals, but also prevent a birth parent from being 110% there for a child both emotionally, mentally and financially. Further, an unplanned pregnancy can show a birth father that he may not be ready or does not wish to be a parent at this time which is okay. 

Adoption is a great option to give your child the best possible life, and a selfless choice for an adoptive family to provide a strong, resourceful support system for him or her. 

Separated or Divorced from Birth Mother

Another reason why birth fathers choose adoption may be because they are no longer in a relationship or marriage with the birth mother. Co-parenting can be a challenge if a birth father and birth mother are not on the same page when it comes to raising a child. If a birth father no longer has contact with the birth mother of their child, it can be difficult for him to be a part of his child’s life. 

However, through adoption, a birth father can still have contact with his child and adoptive family, depending on the adoption agreement. Open adoption can be a great option for a birth father who is present even if he is no longer with the birth mother, because he still can have the opportunity to communicate with his child as he or she grows up.  

Without a Support System

Raising a child without the support of family members, friends and neighbors can be overwhelming. From childcare to education, raising a child is not a small feat. It takes a great amount of time, effort, care and most importantly love. Without having a support system to step in with childcare, whether it be helping to take your child to a doctor or pick him or her up from school, it can be a challenge for a birth parent to completely be mentally and emotionally present for his child. Without a support network a birth father may not be able to take care of his mental health which is essential for being a committed parent. Choosing adoption can ease the worry of lacking support for a birth father who knows that an adoptive family will be able to provide such support to his child.  

Being Proactive and Responsible

A birth father may choose adoption because he is thinking about the future of his child and wants to be optimistic about the situation. Choosing adoption can be a birth father’s way of being proactive and responsible as he understands his decision allows adoptive parents to create a family. A birth father’s choice of adoption for his child is a difficult and emotional one to make, but it can also demonstrate that he wants this for his child and made sure that he actively took the steps needed for adoption to happen. Taking responsibility for his child’s future to be happy, healthy and successful, further shows that a birth father is assured of his decision for adoption. 

Loving Your Child

A fundamental reason to choose adoption is because you love your child. The unconditional love you have for your child allows you to acknowledge and realize that you want the best for him or her. Choosing adoption is driven by your desire to seek advantages for your child and putting him or her first as you assess your life and make a life-changing decision. The choice of adoption is selfless and takes a lot of strength to make and go through with. It shows how much you love and care for your child as you want the best for him or her. 

This is by no means an exhaustive list of reasons birth fathers choose adoption. Whatever the reasons may be, they do not undermine adoption but uplift adoption as a great choice and opportunity for a child. Adoption Choices of Missouri sees and supports birth fathers along every part of their adoption journey. Know that if you are a birth father thinking about adoption, you do not have to be alone in the process. Please reach out to us and we’ll be more than happy to assist in every way possible.  

Adoption Choices of Missouri serves birth parents statewide and beyond, please call us or text us to learn more! Call us toll free at 877-903-4488 or, in Missouri call or text us at 1-816-527-9800

Meet the Author: Melissa Benedek is currently a junior at Bard College in Annandale-on-Hudson, New York. She is a Literature major with interest in American regional writing. One of her on-campus jobs focuses on organizing volunteer opportunities with local partnerships for students. She is also a founding editor of Sonnet Literary Magazine based out of her college campus.

When not focused on academics, Melissa enjoys traveling into New York City to support independent bookstores and buy the best cookies at Levain Bakery.

 

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Adoption Choices Appreciates Jason Legasse

National Intern Day

Today is National Intern Day!! And Adoption Choices of Kansas and Missouriis sending a special THANK YOU to our writing interns. National Intern Day was created to recognize all the college students and graduates testing the professional waters across the country as interns. Internships offer future business leaders the experience they need to succeed in their related field.

Interns with Adoption Choices of Kansas and Missouri research, write, and share valuable information, tips, advice, news, stories, and more for our adoption network! Given several adoption topics to choose from, they spend hours collecting the most up to date, essential information and build an article. It’s more than just an article though, it’s a tool for birth mothers and adoptive families to be able to find Adoption Choices on the web, share resources, connect within the adoption community, and help understand the adoption process. We are sending Jason Legasse a great big THANK YOU– today and everyday for all the hard work you share with us!

Hello! My name is Jason Legasse, and I am a 20 year old undergraduate student originally from Clifton Park, NY. I moved this past Summer to Venice, Florida with my mom and dog to escape the Winters, and we absolutely love it so far! I attend Siena College in Loudonville, NY, which is a small, franciscan liberal arts college with approximately 3,000 undergraduates, and around 100 graduate students. Although it is a very small college, it is an extremely well-known college in New York, and many students attend from nearby states like Massachusetts, to far away states like California! Siena has an amazing reputation, and I am incredibly grateful to attend such an amazing small school that truly wants to see all of its students do amazing things upon graduation!

I will be graduating from Siena this December, and am then planning to attend Meredith College in Raleigh, North Carolina, to earn my M.A.T. (Master’s of Arts in Teaching degree)  in General Special Education! Graduating from a four year school in two and a half years has been a major challenge, but I feel like taking some extra steps to achieve that goal has been well worth it! I was very motivated, and took as many as six classes a semester, recently obtaining a 3.38 GPA for my Spring 2020 semester. I know that I will be very young when I enter graduate school this January, but I am ready for whatever challenges come my way, and I can’t wait to be certified to teach in North Carolina!

I was not originally planning to teach special education. My heart was set on teaching English, until a few things came to mind. I knew that I wanted to teach a smaller class, and I knew that I may feel myself being stressed out with having potentially 150 kids a year, like at my high school. Having a disability myself, I wanted to help students that are struggling with their disability, or lack self-confidence. I want them to know that they can do anything they put their mind to, and I feel like I would be an amazing teacher for any student. However, I chose to continue with my English degree, because I know that any future employer is seeking skills that most English majors possess, such as critical thinking. I am also very interested in co-teaching English, after having been in a co-taught English class, when I was in 11th grade. Co-teaching is when there is one special education teacher, and one general education teacher in the same classroom. They teach the same class for the entire year, and typically both students with disabilities, and students in the general education setting are in the classroom. Not only is this an amazing idea that worked out well for me, personally, but it helped to promote inclusion. Including students with disabilities in our general education settings is extremely important, and I am a huge advocate for it. That class was by far one of my favorites, and I feel that it was because the teachers not only worked well together, but as a student with a disability, it did not feel like my disability was there. It was such an amazing experience, and I hope that I can introduce co-teaching to the school that I get hired at! I think co-teaching is very underlooked, and something that should be introduced in more schools. I can’t wait to introduce that change to my future middle school, and I look forward to seeing how that change will progress overtime!

I feel like all of my life, I have struggled both internally, and externally with myself. However, I feel that doing things like partaking in this internship with Adoption Choices has helped me to not only become a better writer, but to also learn more about adoption. I know that as a future teacher, that I will have students in my class who are adopted, and I want to be able to support them in any way that I can. I have learned so much through my short time with Adoption Choices, and I know that I will take what I have learned, and use it for the rest of my life. Coming into my internship, all that I really knew about adoption was that it was a choice for birth mothers, and basically whatever happened happened. Through my time in this internship, I learned that this is very far from the truth. There are a wide variety of birth mothers, and adoptive families that have been through a lot. No two situations are the same, and that’s what makes the adoption process so interesting and wonderful. Adoption is so much more than what I thought it was, and I would encourage anybody to partake in this internship, regardless of the level of knowledge they may have about adoption. I will be a better teacher because of my time writing for Adoption Choices, and I know that I can be able to better understand anyone that is having a tough time with their adoption, regardless of their age. Thank you to Rachel, Lisa, Patience, and the entire team of Adoption Choices, for allowing me this amazing opportunity to write for such a wonderful organization! I will never forget about my time, and I look forward to helping others who have been adopted!

Thank you so much for taking the time to read about me! I cannot wait to see where life takes me next!

“Keep Smiling”, Jason Legasse

As we look ahead to a brighter future for our world and our companies, we know that this new generation of students and graduates will help get us there. If you or someone you know is interested in writing for Adoption Choices of Kansas and Missouri, we are regularly accepting interns. Our interns research and share 1-3 articles a week to be published across our adoption network. Internships with Adoption Choices offer future business leaders the experience they need and provide hands-on editorial experience.

Once again, thank you Jason!!

 

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Adoption Choices Appreciates Melissa Benedek

National Intern Day

Today is National Intern Day!! And Adoption Choices of Kansas and Missouri is sending a special THANK YOU to our writing interns. National Intern Day was created to recognize all the college students and graduates testing the professional waters across the country as interns. Internships offer future business leaders the experience they need to succeed in their related field.

Interns with Adoption Choices of Kansas and Missouri research, write, and share valuable information, tips, advice, news, stories, and more for our adoption network! Given several adoption topics to choose from, they spend hours collecting the most up to date, essential information and build an article. It’s more than just an article though, it’s a tool for birth mothers and adoptive families to be able to find Adoption Choices on the web, share resources, connect within the adoption community, and help understand the adoption process. We are sending Melissa Benedek a great big THANK YOU – today and everyday for all the hard work you share with us!

Melissa Benedek is currently a junior at Bard College in Annandale-on-Hudson, New York. She is a Literature major with interest in American regional writing. One of her on-campus jobs focuses on organizing volunteer opportunities with local partnerships for students. She is also a founding editor of Sonnet Literary Magazine based out of her college campus. 

When not focused on academics, Melissa enjoys traveling into New York City to support independent bookstores and buy the best cookies at Levain Bakery.

As we look ahead to a brighter future for our world and our companies, we know that this new generation of students and graduates will help get us there. If you or someone you know is interested in writing for Adoption Choices of Kansas and Missouri, we are regularly accepting interns. Our interns research and share 1-3 articles a week to be published across our adoption network. Internships with Adoption Choices offer future business leaders the experience they need and provide hands-on editorial experience.

Once again, thank you Melissa!!

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Single Parent Adoption Success Story

Single Parent Adoption Success Story

Birth mothers know that when selecting the best family to adopt their baby, there are many options. All of these have their own pros and cons, and need to be carefully researched. This will help you see which type of adoption best fits the life you want for you and your baby.

Adoption Choices of Kansas wants to highlight  the story of a woman named Monica. Her adoption journey illustrates single parent adoption success.

Monica’s Story 

Monica is a 34-year-old woman. She has been trying to have a child for 18 months. She tried via a donor, but without success. When she was looking into her other options, she found adoption and began to start a journey that changed her life forever. 

She knew that being a single adoptive mother would be difficult, but she was motivated and wanted to become a parent more than anything. So, she took her decision seriously. She thought through everything and became serious about her finances. She saved up her money and created an adoptive parent profile. 

Many birth mothers rejected her, but she still didn’t give up. She had come too far and truly believed her adoption story would be successful. When her attorney showed her picture to a birth mother who was rejecting many other adoptive parents, Monica had 2.5 out of 3 traits on the birth mother’s criteria list. The birth mother decided that Monica would be the best fit for her baby. Monica could not contain her excitement! She agreed to meet her potential child’s birth mother and got along with her right away. Then, nine months later — she met her baby — her beautiful and healthy boy.

Monica knew that her son would have questions as he grew older, and she was ready to tackle those when the appropriate time came. She and her son’s birth mother agreed to a semi-open adoption, which allowed Monica to send pictures, letters and updates through a secure, confidential portal called ChildConnect.

Why is Monica’s Story Successful? 

What makes Monica’s story a single parent adoption success is that she never gave up. No matter what she faced, she persevered and followed her dreams to parenthood. If you are a birth mother considering placing your baby with a single adoptive parent, know that this is a wonderful decision! Single adoptives are extremely dedicated, loving and often more financially stable and fully committed to the adoption journey. 

Single Parent Adoption Works! 

Single parents can succeed in raising your child, and Monica’s story is proof! Single parents genuinely care about your child. Any single mom or dad would be incredibly lucky to adopt your baby! The next single parent adoption success story could be about your adoption! Remember to please see the links below on Monica’s story, along with a list of things to know about single parent adoption. 

Adoption Choices of Kansas and Missouriserves birth parents statewide and beyond, please call us or text us to learn more! Call us toll free at 1-877-903-4488 or, in Missouri call or text us at (816) 527-9800; in Kansas call or text us at (316) 209 2071

Meet the Author: Jason Legasse is a rising senior English major studying at Siena Collegein Loudonville, New York. He hails from the Albany, New York area, but has plans to relocate to sunny Venice, Florida with his mom come Fall. After completing his bachelor’s degree, Jason plans to study General Special Education at Meredith College, where he will earn a Master’s degree and use that to teach middle school Special Education.

Jason is a self-proclaimed introvert with Asperger’s who really enjoys writing. He has a huge passion for helping others, specifically those with disabilities. He is very excited to be working with Adoption Choices over the summer, and looks forward to learning more about the adoption process!

References

 

 

Adoptive Family Blog

The Two Major Benefits of a Semi-Open Adoption in Missouri

The Two Major Benefits of a Semi-Open Adoption in Missouri

By Jason Legasse

As you may already know, there are three main types of adoption in Missouri for you to choose from: open, semi-open, and closed adoptions. Open adoptions typically involve the highest level of communication and updates in the adoption triad. Closed adoptions may not involve any communication or disclose information about the adoption process. 

As a birth mother giving a child up for adoption, you may feel drawn toward either of these types of adoption. You are honestly looking for something in the middle. The good news is that the middle option exists! Semi-open adoptions have plenty of great traits about them, and today we would like to share two major benefits of a semi-open adoption with you. 

Benefit #1: You May Not Feel as much Pressure 

Consider this scenario: a birth mother who is expecting enters her pregnancy with her heart set on placing her baby for adoption. Upon Googling “considering adoption for my baby”, however, she only sees that adoptions are either open or closed, rather than being informed of an “in-between” adoption type. She alerts her family of her options, and they suggest she go one way or another. None of the birth mother’s family members suggest a semi-open adoption to her, which puts extra pressure on her. But, then the birth mother reached out to Adoption Choices of Missouri, who said: 

“You do not have to choose between an open or closed adoption. There is another type of adoption that exists with traits in between the two. This option may be a perfect fit for you! This is called a semi-open adoption. We would love to tell you more about it!”

Now that this birth mother has been informed, she knows that she has a third type of adoption to consider. She decided to look into a semi-open adoption and was able to allow her adoption process to go at her pace. 

Now, for you, you may be wondering: What exactly does a semi-open adoption entail? What makes a semi-open adoption the perfect balance? We will have to take a look! 

Benefit #2: Semi-Open Adoptions Allow For a Perfect Level of Communication!

What thoughts were going through your head with this scenario? Did you know that a semi-open adoption is not only low pressure, but it also helps foster communication? It’s true! 

As we discussed in our scenario, birth mothers feel a lot of pressure in thinking that their adoption can either be open or closed. For an open adoption, a birth mother could feel the need to have extremely frequent check-ins. Sure, she wants to check in on her baby. But she does not want to have to feel like she has to every single day. An open adoption could also mean a continuous effort on your part to maintain good communication with your baby’s adoptive family. On the other hand, closed adoption may prevent connection with the birth mother entirely, forcing her to worry constantly about her baby.

With a semi-open adoption, communications are typically somewhere in the middle. You may desire to check in with your baby a few times a year, just to see how things are going. You also may want to have a ZOOM call with your baby and his or her adoptive family. Lots of birth mothers consider semi-open adoptions because the level of communication that they desire is perfect for them. Communication is steadily maintained and can be as frequent or as infrequent as you want. Maybe you just want to communicate on holidays or for special events and occasions. Still, you don’t want it to be so infrequent that you develop a fear of missing out. Semi-open adoptions are perfect if you are looking for that perfect level of communication with your baby’s adoptive family.

Is a Semi-Open Adoption Truly Beneficial?

Absolutely! As we discussed, two major benefits of a semi-open adoption are the lack of pressure on birth mothers and the level of communication maintained within the adoption triad. These benefits could make semi-open adoption the perfect fit for you! There are countless other benefits of a semi-open adoption – including the increased number of possible visitations. However, the level of communication is perhaps the most beneficial. 

Birth mothers who do not want to feel stuck may find that a semi-open adoption may be the best fit for them. To learn more about the amazing benefits of a semi-open adoption, feel free to contact your caseworker at Adoption Choices of Missouri directly below. We wish you the best of luck with your adoption. We hope that you will take the time to look into semi-open adoptions and their countless benefits.  

 

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Semi-Open Adoption Success Story

Semi-Open Adoption Success Story

Erika unexpectedly found herself pregnant at the age of 35. She knew that she wasn’t ready to have another child. She did, however, know that adoption was the best possible decision that she could make. So, she began her adoption journey and found an adoptive family who agreed to an semi-open adoption.  A few months early, Erika gave birth to a healthy baby girl. She was not able to meet the adoptive parents face to face, but she was thankful whenever her child’s family posted pictures, letters or updates online via the secure and confidential ChildConnect.

If you need help now, Adoption Choices of Missouri serves birth parents statewide and beyond, please call us or text us to learn more! Call us toll free at 877-903-4488 or, in Missouri call or text us at 1-816-527-9800

Erika receives updates about her daughter three times a year, which is the perfect amount. It gives her peace of mind and confidence that she made the right choice. Seeing how happy and healthy her child is helps her grieve healthfully and move forward in her life.

If you find you are a birth mother who finds herself in this situation, you are not alone. Adoption Choices of Missouri is here to help. We want to provide you with information that will help you understand why we believe that semi-open adoption journeys can be successful.

What made Erika’s Journey a Semi-Open Adoption Story Success?

Whether this is your first pregnancy or not, you have options available to you. When placing your baby for adoption through our agency, you can select from three different levels of openness. These are: open, semi-open and closed. Be sure to research all three to see which level fits best for you and your child.

Here are the ways that Erika’s journey was successful as a semi-open adoption agreement:

  1. Communication

Even though Erika and the adoptive parents didn’t have an in-person relationship, they still worked to communicate with each other online. Updates were posted per their adoption agreement, which helped Erika know that everything was ok. That her daughter was with the family she was meant to be with.

Communication is the secret to success with many things. Semi-open adoptions are no exception! Each and every birth mother will have her own requirements when it comes to how much communication takes place in her adoption journey. If she only wants enough to see how her child is doing, but not much more semi-open has the perfect amount of communication for this.

  1. Amount of Involvement

As aforementioned, Erika wanted to know how her child was doing but didn’t want to be overly involved. This helped her continue on her life path without worrying that she’d made a mistake about placing her baby for adoption. The amount of involvement that semi-open adoption worked wonderfully for Erika in this way, and is known as “the best of both worlds” to birth and adoptive parents in the adoption world.

The restricted amount of involvement was the second thing that made Erika’s journey a semi-open adoption success story.

Semi-Open Adoptions Could Be For You! 

Semi-open adoptions work for a lot of birth mothers. You do not feel overwhelmed when it comes to the adoption process, yet you’re still able to communicate with your child’s adoptive family just enough. 

Furthermore, birth mothers maintain a level of involvement that allows them to check in occasionally online, but not be overly present in your child’s life. 

Adoption Choices of Missouri serves birth parents statewide and beyond, please call us or text us to learn more! Call us toll free at 877-903-4488 or, in Missouri call or text us at 1-816-527-9800

Meet the Author: Jason Legasse is a rising senior English major studying at Siena College in Loudonville, New York. He hails from the Albany, New York area, but has plans to relocate to sunny Venice, Florida with his mom come Fall. After completing his bachelor’s degree, Jason plans to study General Special Education at Meredith College, where he will earn a Master’s degree and use that to teach middle school Special Education.

Jason is a self-proclaimed introvert with Asperger’s who really enjoys writing. He has a huge passion for helping others, specifically those with disabilities. He is very excited to be working with Adoption Choices over the summer, and looks forward to learning more about the adoption process!

References

 

Birth Mother

The Benefits of Transracial Adoption

The Benefits of Transracial Adoption

As you begin to seriously consider adoption and start on your adoption journey, you may be thinking about transracial adoption. Committing to a life-changing decision, like adoption, requires self-reflection and open-mindedness. This goes for both the birth and adoptive parents. Transracial adoption can be a positive experience for the adoptee, especially when the adoptive family respects the adoptee’s cultural identity and promotes positive acceptance. This helps the adoptee have greater self-esteem and prevents isolation within the adoptive family.

Through many successful transracial adoption stories, you may be wondering what the advantages are and how they can be achieved. This week, Adoption Choices of Missouri will be discussing the benefits of transracial adoption and how adoptive families can practice them. 

Acknowledgement and Acceptance 

Before adopting a child of another race, prospective parents should do some deliberate introspection. To realize it is necessary and healthy to acknowledge, respect and celebrate a child’s race that is different from their own. Adoptive parents cannot begin to embrace diversity within their home and their lives until they have done so. Further, adoptive parents need to be open to cultural understanding as they accept their adoptive child’s racial and cultural identities. An adoptive family projecting their own biases onto their transracial adoptee will create division, isolation and reinforce stereotypes. Adoptive parents who acknowledge and accept the racial and cultural identities of their transracial adoptee can cultivate racial awareness within their home and their community. 

Acknowledgement and acceptance breed positivity. Only then will a transracial adoptee know that he or she belongs and are welcomed within their adoptive family. Adoptive parents can establish positive and open communication with their child where they can talk together, listen and value each other. When an adoptee can openly communicate with their adoptive parents without feeling afraid, he or she knows that they are in a safe space. 

Embracing Diversity

Another one of the benefits of transracial adoption is that both adoptive parents and the adoptee can grow together in their home and community. Adoptive parents can embrace diversity within the home through providing cultural outlets of learning that spark communication and understanding through art, books, music, TV shows and movies. Living in a community that is racially and culturally diverse is essential, as it provides the opportunity to interact with people with different cultural backgrounds and prevents the development of intolerance. It is also beneficial when finding positive role models, schools and extracurricular activities for your child. 

Further, embracing diversity means creating a relationship between your child and his or her culture. Adoptive parents must make an effort to surround themselves and their child with experiences that teach about their child’s heritage. Prioritizing your child’s culture is critical for adoptive parents, so that their child sees and knows his or her culture and is not subjected to assimilating into a culture and identity that does not represent him or her. 

Breaking Stereotypes

Criticism surrounding transracial adoption stems from inherent biases that are left unchecked, becoming the standard for what a family should be and should look like. However, being a transracial adoptive parent shows that families are not and do not have to be conventional. Stereotypes try to doubt the validity of transracial adoption, but transracial adoption shows that such perspectives are not true. Transracial adoption has the potential to educate people who may not even realize that stigmas exist. By breaking stereotypes, your transracial adoptee will see that his or her adoptive family does not stand for intolerance or bigotry, and will work to end divisive narratives. 

Creating a Family

The best part of transracial adoption is creating a family. To be able to provide a child with the opportunity to grow and be successful in a loving environment is truly a blessing. Having a child in your family is invaluable as is your adoption journey. Family is more than biology, it is unity. A family that is created with acceptance at its core ensures that a child is welcomed and will always be. Transracial adoption has the power to do just that in a family that puts respect, love and care first. 

Putting your child before yourself is at the center of successful adoption and attaining the benefits. Making that choice can shape the future of your child and your relationship with him or her. Support your child always. Respect his or her cultural identity always. Remember that you can learn a lot from your child as you first become a parent and all throughout the lifelong adoption journey. Adoption Choices of Missouri is here to support you through your transracial adoption process and provide helpful information every step of the way. 

Sources:

Godon, Danielle E., and Patricia G. Ramsey. “Positive and Negative Aspects of

     Transracial Adoption: An Exploratory Study from Korean Transracial

     Adoptees’ Perspectives.” Mount Holyoke College. Accessed July 5, 2020.

   https://scholarworks.umass.edu/cgi/viewcontent.cgi?article=1104&context=rudd_conf

Harness, Susan Devan. “Adopting a child of a different race? Let’s talk.”

     Address presented at TedxMileHigh. YouTube. Last modified July 25, 2019.

     Accessed July 5, 2020. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=uORk3TGSCl4

Krueger, Angela. “Pros and Cons of Transracial Adoption.” Full Circle Adoptions.

     Last modified May 10, 2009. Accessed July 5, 2020.

     http://fullcircleadoptions.org/wp-content/uploads/2017/08/Pros-and-Cons-of-Transracial-Adoption.pdf 

 

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The Top Three Benefits of Open Adoption

The Top Three Benefits of Open Adoption

An open adoption is one that is selected quite frequently by birth mothers. It allows for visitations to become more frequent, and it typically allows for things like strong, positive bonds to form more quickly, and stay permanent within the adoption triad. For these reasons, open adoptions are usually the most successful type of adoption, and we hope to highlight that to you today. With good reasons also comes strong benefits, and today we want to list to you three benefits of open adoption, that we hope will educate you on why you should select an open adoption for your baby. 

If you need help now, Adoption Choices of Missouri serves birth parents statewide and beyond, please call us or text us! Call us toll free at 877-903-4488 or, in Missouri call or text us at 1-816-527-9800

Benefit #1: Positive Relationships within the Adoption Triad  

With an open adoption, you make arrangements with your child’s adoptive family or caseworker to see your baby for contact and visits as he or she grows. Visits can vary, depending on each of your comfort levels and what is deemed appropriate; yet, having this opportunity can allow you and your child to build a strong and positive relationship. As your baby grows up, he or she will recognize the impact you have on his or her life. They will cherish every moment that they have with you. Even though your baby will have an adoptive family, you will always be your child’s birth mother. 

An open adoption also allows you the chance to form a healthy and strong relationship with your child’s adoptive parents. We encourage you to begin getting to know them as early as you can and maintain contact throughout your adoption journey together. Be sure to work out how things will look moving forward so you can all be on the same page together. 

Day by day, you will see how your bonds with your child’s adoptive parents and your child themselves grow and deepen. Positivity shines the brightest through any negatives, and an open adoption can allow you to truly be able to form a strong, everlasting and positive connection with your baby and their new family. 

Benefit #2: Communication with Adoptive Parents and Your Child 

Just like with building a positive connection, communication is a factor that will allow your adoption to be unlike any other. When you frequently communicate, you not only build a strong relationship with your baby’s adoptive family, but you also show both of them how committed you are to the adoption journey and how much you care. 

Communication goes a long way with an open adoption and the key to success!

Benefit #3: Your Connections will be Noticed by Others

 As you already know, maintaining a good relationship with your baby and child’s adoptive family are important. Something that you may forget, though, is that your baby will meet and form connections with members of not only your family, but also with members of his or her adoptive family. 

Your families may decide to get together for a meal or for a holiday, and you both may wish to have your respective family members present at that event. When this happens, these important family members will quickly be able to see that you have spent an extremely significant amount of time making a connection with your baby, and with your adoptive family. Positivity does not go unnoticed. The more positiveness that you bring to the table, the more respect will be given back to you as a result. 

Benefits of Open Adoption

The three benefits of open adoption allow for you to build the strongest and most positive relationship you can have with your baby and his or her future adoptive family. Through healthy and consistent communication, connections can be made and will remain everlasting. Adoption Choices of Missouri remains available to help you. We are here to answer any questions or concerns that you may have about an open adoption. 

Adoption Choices of Missouri serves birth parents statewide and beyond, please call us or text us to learn more! Call us toll free at 877-903-4488 or, in Missouri call or text us at 1-816-527-9800

Meet the Author: Jason Legasse is a rising senior English major studying at Siena College in Loudonville, New York. He hails from the Albany, New York area, but has plans to relocate to sunny Venice, Florida with his mom come Fall. After completing his bachelor’s degree, Jason plans to study General Special Education at Meredith College, where he will earn a Master’s degree and use that to teach middle school Special Education.

Jason is a self-proclaimed introvert with Asperger’s who really enjoys writing. He has a huge passion for helping others, specifically those with disabilities. He is very excited to be working with Adoption Choices over the summer, and looks forward to learning more about the adoption process!

 

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Prison Adoption Success Story

Prison Adoption Success Story

 Every adoption journey can have a successful story. This may seem impossible, but we’ve seen it happen many times! As an agency, we encounter birth mothers from every walk of life and help them all have the most positive and empowering adoption journey possible. From open adoptions to semi-open adoptions, LGBT adoptions to transracial, single parents to homeless birth mothers. 

Whatever your situation or circumstance, Adoption Choices of Kansas is here for you! Today, we invite you to look at Beth’s prison adoption success story, an expectant mother facing imprisonment back in 2017 and choose to place her baby for adoption.

Beth’s Story 

Beth knew that placing her baby for adoption was the best decision to make for her baby. This would be her third child, and she wasn’t able to provide him with the life he deserved while she was incarcerated. She wanted her son to grow up in an open adoption and two parent home.

With the help of the prison, she was able to get in touch with an adoption caseworker, who helped Beth through her options and begin her adoption journey. She addressed her preferences and was later matched with an adoptive family who had been searching for two years. They agreed to meet with Beth via video conference, through which she gained their trust and developed a healthy relationship with the prospective couple. They were able to arrange an approved visitation schedule, and Beth  kept in touch through letters to both the adoptive family and her caseworker. 

What Does this Mean for Me? 

It’s extremely important to understand that you have full rights to an adoption while incarcerated. There are programs that can help inform and educate you on your options. Prisons are becoming more and more known for implementing programs that provide you with options or allow you to raise your baby behind bars. 

Is a Prison Adoption Success Story Possible for Me?

Of course! Adoption is always an option. You are still able to communicate with our agency, place your baby for adoption and choose adoptive parents. You also have the opportunity to give birth in a nearby hospital. Depending on the reason for your incarceration, however, some details of your adoption journey may vary, but this can all be discussed with your caseworker and prison. 

But know, no matter what, adoption is always an available option for you.

Adoption Choices of Missouri serves birth parents statewide and beyond, please call us or text us to learn more! Call us toll free at 877-903-4488 or, in Missouri call or text us at 1-816-527-9800

Meet the Author: Jason Legasse is a rising senior English major studying at Siena College in Loudonville, New York. He hails from the Albany, New York area, but has plans to relocate to sunny Venice, Florida with his mom come Fall. After completing his bachelor’s degree, Jason plans to study General Special Education at Meredith College, where he will earn a Master’s degree and use that to teach middle school Special Education.

Jason is a self-proclaimed introvert with Asperger’s who really enjoys writing. He has a huge passion for helping others, specifically those with disabilities. He is very excited to be working with Adoption Choices over the summer, and looks forward to learning more about the adoption process!

References

 

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Transracial Adoption Success Story 

Transracial Adoption Success Story 

When a birth mother hears about transracial adoption, there may be feelings of worry surrounding how her child will remember and learn about his or her birth family and community. This valid concern is not always met with an easy answer or solution. Many transracial adoptees may not grow up to know about their birth families and cultures, which can lead to poor self- esteem and feelings of isolation within their adoptive families.

Yet, there are just as many transracial adoptees who have had positive experiences with their adoptive families, who have prioritized the adoptee’s cultural identity. This week Adoption Choices of Missouriwill be discussing a transracial adoption success storyand what has made it successful. Today, we will be hearing Elisa’s story that highlights important points that have contributed to her success as a transracial adoptee.

Having a Relationship with the Birth Mother and Birth Community 

Elisa was adopted at the age of three by her adoptive parents, David and Joan, and was raised in Vermont. Elisa was not talkative at first, as she took in her new surroundings, home and family. Even before Elisa began to talk, her adoptive parents showed her photos of her birth mother, explaining to Elisa who her birth mother is and how she is doing. David and Joan decided to have and maintain communication with Elisa’s birth mother as they established their adoption agreement and started their adoption journey together. Through the exchange of letters and photos, David and Joan were able to talk and share news about Elisa with her birth mother, and vise versa, as Elisa grew up.

By having her adoptive parents welcome any questions, Elisa did not have to wonder who her birth mother was, what she was like, or about her birth culture. Elisa’s birth mother had an active role and presence in her life and her adoptive parents’ lives. Through this, Elisa learned the significance of her birth culture and developed a strong and healthy sense of identity as she grew up. She didn’t have to struggle with  feelings of loss and guilt, or put up emotional barriers, because she had the answers readily available to her..

Adoptive Parents Supporting their Transracial Adoptee’s Cultural Identity 

Beyond David and Joan establishing and maintaining communication with her birth mother, they welcomed Elisa’s identity and culture. They did not forget, erase or remove her identity and culture. To protect and nurture Elisa, they put their interests and concerns aside. They cultivated an environment that protected her against bigotry and promoted belonging. They acknowledged that race and culture matter.

Being connected to one’s culture and heritage is essential for transracial adoptees. Elisa’s adoptive parents asked themselves before starting on their lifelong adoption journey, why do we want to adopt? They also took time to research and understand the culture she came from. The most important holidays, the food and what life was like within her birth culture. This helped them better connect not only with Elisa, but also her birth mother. Before adopting Elisa, David and Joan thought about what their child will need to live and flourish in the world and how they could have their own transracial adoption success story. One of the many essential things they committed to doing was recognizing and respecting the birth mother’s want to be a part of her child’s life.

Finding Role Models that Uplift

Elisa’s adoptive family made an effort to find role models in their community that were successful, which showed Elisa that she could be successful too. Having successful role models in her life as she grew up allowed Elisa to see and realize that she is worthy of success. That stereotypes, prejudice and discrimination are wrong, and that the negative narratives perpetrated in society are not true. Having good role models also helped Elisa further connect with her culture and continually foster a positive sense of belonging and community. Role models also helped Elisa further to validate her adoption story as a transracial adoptee. Elisa grew up to know that she is her own person and not a child that her adoptive parents saved.

The Secret to Transracial Adoption Success

All adoptee stories are unique, and Elisa’s story shares with us a few things that made her adoption successful. Her adoptive parents put Elisa first. This made a significant impact on how their adoption journey turned into a transracial adoption success story. Elisa’s adoptive parents were not afraid to ask for help, paid attention to representation in their community and school and checked their biases. They also had open communication with Elisa’s birth mother, which allowed them to develop a relationship with her, and further strengthen their relationship with Elisa.

Everyone has a different definition of success, but one of the most important factors of adoption success is always putting the interests of your child first. To not place your personal agenda before your child.

Adoption Choices of Missouri serves birth parents statewide and beyond, please call us or text us to learn more! Call us toll free at 1-877-903-4488 or, in Missouri call or text us at (816) 527-9800; in Kansas call or text us at (316) 209 2071

Meet the Author: Melissa Benedek is currently a junior at Bard College in Annandale-on-Hudson, New York. She is a Literature major with interest in American regional writing. One of her on-campus jobs focuses on organizing volunteer opportunities with local partnerships for students. She is also a founding editor of Sonnet Literary Magazine based out of her college campus.

Sources:

Harness, Susan Devan. “Adopting a child of a different race? Let’s talk.”

Address presented at TedxMileHigh. YouTube. Last modified July 25, 2019.

Accessed July 1, 2020. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=uORk3TGSCl4.

Mehra, Nishta. “10 Tips for a Successful Transracial Adoption.” Mash-Up

Americans. Accessed July 1, 2020. http://www.mashupamericans.com/family/10-tips-for-a-successful-transracial-adoption/

“Transracial Adoption: How to Help Your Child Succeed.” Right Turn. Accessed

July 1, 2020. https://rightturnne.org/transracial-adoption-how-to-help-your-child-succeed/